Olivia- One-shots
by Icantgetenough
Summary: Mainly Barson with a few other Olivia relationships thrown in. Song-fics. If you have any song suggestions let me know.
1. While the Night is Still Young

A/N: So I am legit crazy for doing to 2 fanfics at once. I never have before I don't think or if so never so regularly before. I guess my muse and my love for Barson is in overdrive. Don't tell work that I pushed 3 of these out in my downtime lol. I don't know how often or how many I will be doing. I welcome song suggestions or ideas for this. It's spanning all different genres. If you like song fics I have 2 E/O from forever ago Walk Through Hell and I want you. They are both multi-chapter. Most of these will be Barson but my 3rd one is sort of Brian/Olivia, you'll see what I mean. I am not sure how long this will last but like I said there are already 3 written. Reviews are welcome Thanks!

**The Night is Still Young- Billy Joel**

Rafael Barba wasn't sure how he wound up in the arms Olivia Benson that night. They were at some fundraiser that they were voluntold to go. With work being so busy neither realized they would see each other there. They both had been drinking, they weren't drunk but they both felt pretty good and were dancing together. Rafael had asked about Noah and Olivia was leaning in close to his ear to talk over the music. Rafael felt his breath hitch at her closeness and the sound of her voice over the sound of everything else.

Someone they didn't know who had a few too many drinks had bumped into them hard and Rafael pulled Olivia even closer so she wouldn't fall. They steadied each other and stared at each other for a few moments before Olivia regained her composure. She held her hands out in position so they could continue the dance. Rafael smirked and held her properly sweeping her across the floor once again.

He thought about the situation he was currently in with Olivia. He has danced with her before at such events, but usually, other people they knew were there as well. He had danced with Rollins too, but this time it was just the 2 of them, and it felt different. He couldn't shake the electricity he felt as he held her.

Olivia hadn't said anything in a long time Rafael's mind wandered back to a younger time in his life when he was in high school, dancing with Misty Sweeten. He had a crush on her, but she was two years older, and he didn't think she was interested. He ended up kissing her, and she happily accepted, one thing led to another and the passion he felt that night it was spectacular, and he had that passion with a few other throughout his life. He was old enough though that he also remembered multiple one-night stands to fill the urge. The one-way relationships he had found his way in. The fire going out and just sitting there waiting for someone to get the courage to end it.

"Rafa?" Olivia asked.

"Huh." Rafael shook his head to get his mind to the present.

"You were a million miles away," Olivia stated

He blushed at his thoughts and it didn't go unnoticed by Olivia.

"Everything okay?" Olivia asked.

"I'll take what I can get," He stated.

Olivia was confused

"Rafa, what has you in your own world?" Oliva asked.

He didn't realize he had said the words out loud and turned a darker shade of crimson.

"Sorry, Liv." He stated and began to walk away.

She put his hand on his shoulder, and he turned around.

Rafael Barba kissed her Infront of about 300 other people they worked with and shock wasn't even beginning to describe the feeling Olivia felt. Luckily no one they knew too well had been there except Dodds, but he was nowhere nearby. It wasn't long or drawn out, but it was needy and deep, and the fire she had attempted to kill all night had become a blazing inferno.

"Wanta get out of here?" Olivia asked.

Rafael was shocked by her words thoroughly preparing to be slapped in the face by his friend but maybe she was asking to leave so she could do it in private. But he agreed and followed her out into the hotel lobby.

He was surprised yet again by her turning to the elevators but followed her anyways. She pulled a card out of her clutch, swiped it and pressed 12. He followed her quietly through the hallways. She came to her door and opened it. A single bed in the middle the window overlooking the skyline he has seen his whole life, and suddenly he realized he was alone in a hotel room with Olivia Benson.

"Liv?" He asked, suddenly becoming nervous.

"Yeah" she asked.

"What are we doing?" He asked

"Whatever you want to do Rafa." Olivia stated.

"I'll take what I can get." He repeated from earlier.

Olivia smiled.

"How long?" Olivia asked

Rafael wasn't quite sure what she meant and begged her to continue.

"How long have you waited to kiss me," Olivia asked?

"Don't do this to me now, we can talk later, but all I want right now is you." Rafael boldly stated.

"Hmm, I guess that can be arranged," Olivia stated.

She walked up to him, pushing him again the door and kissing him hard. He had waited a very long time for this but didn't think she felt the same. Didn't even want to risk losing her friendship, but it was apparent at least for now she was very into him and this.

Their eyes were opened while they kissed gazing at each other and felt spectacular.

"Liv, can I?" as he pulled on the zipper of her dress.

She shook her head, yes. Rafael's pupils dilated and slowly pulled the zipper allowing Olivia to step out of the dress, she had on sliming shorts her bra was nude and Rafael sucked a deep breath in at seeing so much of her skin. He saw the scars Lewis had created, but he had already prepared himself to see them. He took her in, the pooled dress on the floor. He smiled, wanting nothing more than to take her to the bed.

"I think you have some catching up to do," she stated, as she began working on the buttons of all over his tuxedo.

Rafael helped her as she disrobed her and it was rushed and sloppy and popped a button or two in his haste and Olivia giggled.

Rafael loved her.

"While the night is still young?" He asked as he was down to his boxers. She bit her lip running 1000 thoughts in her mind wondering if this is really what they should be doing right now.

Rafael felt his heartbeat out of control when she didn't answer immediately.

"Liv?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah." She smiled.

"You sure?" Rafael asked.

She smiled once again, knowing that the last thing he would want was an unwilling participant.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Olivia stated.

He smiled and they crawled in bed together, exploring touching holding each other. The passion was there like it was all those years ago, but somehow this was more intense more of something he had ever felt. When they finished both still awake, Olivia drawing on his chest with her fingers, he began to talk.

"I thought I would be married by now maybe with a kid," Rafael stated

Olivia just listened.

"I've never been good at relationships and people get tired of saying goodnight on the telephone when you have a case to prep," Rafael stated.

"Mm, I know the feeling," Olivia stated.

"Is this what you think this is though, a relationship?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, No, I told you I'd take what I can get but I don't do one-night stands Liv," Rafael stated.

"You're my friend Rafa and have been for so long it would hurt to lose you, but I have to admit it hurt pretty bad not being able to do this either," Olivia confessed.

Rafael smiled at her knowing how she felt.

" I guess caring too much for the job left me without," Rafael stated.

"We both have that downfall," Olivia admitted.

He smiled at her.

"We have some catching up to do then," Rafael stated

He kissed her again, trying to get the passion he had just a few minutes prior.

"Let's just do this all night," Rafael stated.

"I'm willing to give this a try," Olivia stated.

Rafael knew she didn't mean not only tonight and captured her lips once more.


	2. Stutter

This is based on Stutter – Maroon 5

Rafael had just quit. He was done, he let himself become too involved, with the cases, with Olivia with the rest of the squad. He had never worked so closely, and he had gotten burnt. He didn't blame anyone; no this was all on him but damn it he was going to miss it. He told Olivia he had "to move on." And he did because he was drowning.

Rafael went to his apartment got a bottle of scotch and thought about the last 6 years of his life. He realized how easily Olivia's face popped into his head at all the crucial moments of the previous 6 years. Work-related or personal she was somehow always involved one way or another. She had his back. He closed his eyes because if he was being honest, he never wanted to let her go when he walked away. He wanted to tell her he loved her, but it was too much. It was not enough either. It wasn't fair to either of them. He took another drink, and all he wanted was his mind to go numb and hopefully pass out in a drunken haze in his bed just get away from the world around him for a few hours.

The world, for the most part, fell away but his fantasy of having one Olivia Benson in this very room didn't. He hated to admit he had these feelings for a while. The impossibility of them being together allowed him to only think about it sparingly but technically they no longer worked together. Rafael let his mind wander, and the thought of her touch made him shiver, and he couldn't stop himself from touching himself thinking of the woman.

It had been 3 days since he left Olivia at the courthouse, walking away. He had gotten multiple offers after he told Rita the situation and she let it spread he was available for the taking. Maybe he should go into the private sector he thought. So he sent some applications and wished himself luck and looked out at the city skyline staring out the window. He jumped when he heard a knock on his door.

Olivia Benson was leaning on his door frame.

"Hey, you doing okay?" Olivia asked.

Rafael scrubbed his face staring at the woman who has been taking up his mind.

"Been better," Rafael admitted.

"What can I do to help?" Oliva asked.

He swallowed hard, knowing he heard those exact words out of context in a dream he had last night.

He looked at her, again her eyes pleading with his to let her into his private life. To let her in his mind, she already had his heart. He closed the gap and reached out for her, and she gladly embraced him.

"I'm so sorry," Rafael stated.

"For what?" Olivia asked.

"For needing to leave. For you always coming to my rescue. For being a pain in the ass." He continued.

"For the record, you've saved me from myself, so I can easily repay the favor," Olivia stated.

"I need to know," Rafael stated.

He leaned in and kissed her, she was surprised but didn't pull away, and allowed the man to press his lips against hers and she was kissing back.

"You gotta let me know Liv if this can work because if not you got to let go," Rafael stated.

Olivia pulled him back closer and kissed him again.

"Are, are, are you sure," Rafael asked.

"If I am making you stutter than it's a definite yes," Olivia stated.

Rafael wrapped his arms around her said: "I've had dreams about this for a long time."

"Me too," Olivia stated


	3. New Rules

So I know I stated these are going to be mainly Barson but this is going to be Olivia and Brian right after they break up.

New Rules- Dua Lipa

Olivia knew that she and Brian weren't working out and that's why 3 weeks ago he had moved out and left her with the apartment. He wasn't a total prick she thought. She was in the bed that Brian regularly joined her in and she couldn't help but wonder what he was doing now. She knew it was a very bad idea, she was feeling lonely and although the squad knew of the development, she wasn't going to reach out to them. Brian had messaged her about 30 minutes ago and she still hadn't answered. He asked if she was okay and what she was doing tonight. She shouldn't be but before she knew it she was texting him back.

"I'm at home, I'm okay." Olivia stated trying to convince herself she was just replying so he wouldn't worry.

He messaged her again. "If you want I'm at Roko's Pub watching the game it's pretty boring without someone to watch it with." He typed back.

Oliva was already pulling out from under the covers. She convinced herself they were friends watching a game. That's it. She hesitated for only second thinking leggings and the long t-shirt she was in was fine. She wasn't going there to impress him. She grabbed her wallet and keys and walked out the door.

When she got there Brian had been drinking a beer and she could tell he was surprised to see her walk through the door.

"Liv, glad you could make it," Brian stated.

"Me too." Olivia stated.

They sat there making small talk watching the basketball game both booing and cheering at the same time with the rest of the bar. Olivia wasn't sure how much Brian had to drink, but she felt nervous not of him, just being there with him. She was on her 4th beer and almost ordered a 5th, Brian had only had 2 while they were there and she stopped herself, getting water instead. The game was over it wasn't too late but it was pushing 10 pm.

"I should get going," Olivia stated.

"let me walk you home," Brian stated.

"You don't have too," Olivia stated.

"No I do, I know you're not drunk but you drank more in the last hour and a half then I did the whole game." Brian mentioned.

She blushed for a second but wasn't in the mood.

"If you insist." She stated.

Olivia looked at him when they made it to the apartment building, and she had no idea why she did it but she kissed him. She kissed him hard and wanted nothing more to drag him up the steps and throw him in her bed.

"Liv is this what you want?" Brian asked.

"For the moment." Olivia stated and invited him upstairs.

He had spent the night and Olivia swears he is like no one else she has been in bed with. She knew he didn't love her though. She let this happen suggested it even. She let him in. All of sudden she was self-conscience and slipped out of the bed getting dressed before he woke up. She was going to let him sleep but she needed to be in the office soon, and she had woke him up kicked him out before he left he stated.

"I don't need a label Liv but you do, you will." Brian stated and walked out.

Damn, she hated how right he was but didn't have time to think about it walking out to the car to get to work. She buried herself in her job as usual and stayed late and came in early every day that week avoiding being home alone. Fin had questioned her but she ensured she was fine and kept her nose in her paperwork.

Friday came and with all the hours she put in she was made to take the day off. She sat in watching the TV but was on board and messaged Brian.

"Hey, got sent home too many hours you busy?" Olivia messaged.

It went a few hours before Brian responded.

"I'm free now." Brian stated.

"Come over?" Olivia asked.

20 minutes later he was at her door and she welcomed him in and went to kissing his lips and undressing him. He didn't say no and they fell into bed once again. Olivia knew better but she wasn't tied to him. This wasn't exclusive she wasn't sure if he knew that though and when he got a call to work he dressed slowly.

"You know this doesn't have to mean anything." Olivia stated.

"I told you that I don't have a problem with this but you will and when it crumbles I have feeling the blow out is going to be on me." Brian stated.

"Well you seem to think it's worth it." Olivia said smugly.

He didn't say anything else and walked out.

This arrangement of sorts went on for 3 months they talked less and less and most of the time he would be asking her but when the need arose, she would call or message him.

Olivia came into the squad room one day and instantly slammed the door to her office not on purpose. She knew the squad would be wondering and she just didn't want to deal with it. Brian had made some off comment about her being needy and it didn't bode well with her. She kicked him out it was only the 4th time that's happened in the last 3 months. Every time though she would go back to him or was it him coming back to her she wasn't sure. She sighed in frustration. He had actually just messaged her.

"If you want I'm free tonight sorry about last night."

God she hated herself for wanting him, and at this point, it was his body she was after she had admitted that to herself 2 months ago it was not his personality.

Amanda knocked on her door, Olivia didn't want to talk about it. She was sure that Sonny and Fin convinced her to knock because they were both too afraid.

"Come in." Olivia said begrudgingly.

"Before you ask I'm fine just, frustrated." Olivia stated.

"Frustrated with what?" Amanda asked.

"You should be asking with who and the answer is Brian." Olivia stated.

"Oh, I didn't know you were back together." Amanda stated.

"We're not." Olivia claimed.

"So is he's like chasing after you do you need someone to talk to him because…"

Olivia cut her off

"It's not like that either, we're just sleeping together from time to time." Olivia admitted.

"Liv, you know its not a good idea," Amanda stated.

"God I know it's not. Trust me I know but he's like no one else. He is an ass but he is so good in bed. I know I shouldn't pick up the phone or let him in but I can't help it." Olivia stated.

Amanda didn't hear the door open behind her and she said:

"If you're under him, you're not getting over him."

Fin's eyebrows shot up knowing he wasn't supposed to hear any of this but quickly relaxed and stated

"We got another case."

Olivia knew he wouldn't say a word about it but he would be worried.

"I'm still learning," Olivia stated

Amanda rolled her eyes.

Amanda walked out of Olivia's office.

Fin stepped in.

"I'm fine Fin." Olivia stated.

"It's none of my business but you don't sound fine.

Olivia's cell phone buzzed she knew it was Brian without looking. She sighed and looked up at Fin, still waiting for a better answer.

"If you must know Fin, I am screwing around with Brian."

Fin put his hands up and backed out of her office quickly not wanting to here anymore.

But out in the main office, he said: "Rollins is right you know."

Olivia looked at her text.

"See you at 7pm?"

Olivia responded

"Not tonight Bri."


	4. And So It Goes

And So It Goes - Billy Joel

Olivia had messaged Barba, she didn't know why Barba of all people he was the one who made her disclose, to begin with. She was so pissed at him, but he was right; he always was always right.

"Ed and I are done." Olivia texted.

She didn't expect to get a response so fast but he quickly typed back.

"are you okay?"

She smiled at his thoughtfulness.

"Not really." She replied.

"I'll be over soon." He sent back

Raphael knocked lightly on the door.

Olivia came to the door; he was still dressed for the day.

"If you were working, you didn't have to come," Olivia stated.

"No, I should have been done a long time ago," Raphael stated.

"So, Ed dumped you?" Raphael asked.

"Not exactly." Olivia breathed.

"You dumped him," Raphael concluded.

"I wanted it to work, but I'm not blaming Noah, I'm blaming Ed he couldn't handle sharing the limelight. I got to put Noah first, and Ed wants to retire and got so scared." Olivia stated.

"You're in different chapters in the same book and there is no way he's going back, and there is no way you can catch up to him." Raphael stated simply.

"Yeah." Olivia admitted.

They were both sitting on the couch, and Raphael had her lean into him.

"Liv, you know that you can have both if you want it, not with Ed, he's too needy, he needed your attention, and that took away attention from Noah, but you'll find someone who wants to be with you because of you bond to Noah, not in spite of it." Raphael stated.

"Yeah, I know," Olivia stated.

"My Abuela told me a story when I had broken up with a long-time girlfriend out of college. In every heart, there is a room that heals the wounds of lover's past. When someone else comes along the right person, it will fill that room, and that person will protect you instead. One day Liv, you won't have to hide your heart." Raphael stated.

"Thanks, Rafa for being here for me."

"Always." He stated.

Raphael stayed with Olivia. They made small talk mainly work and Noah, but other than that, they sat in comfortable silence.

"Liv you know that I care about you and Noah. If you need anything." Raphael stated.

"I know." Olivia stated

"It's getting late." Olivia mentioned.

"Yeah it is I'll see you soon, goodnight Liv."

"Good night." Olivia stated.

Olivia and Raphael talked at work, avoided talking about Ed, or that night he came over. He was quiet around her, but it was his only defense. She was now single, and he could have thoughts of filling that space in her heart. She was short, with him no longer hanging out his office having conversations. Weeks past by, and it wasn't until a tough case on all of them had Raphael say something.

"If my silence made you leave, that's my mistake Liv, I'm sorry I haven't been emotionally available." Raphael stated.

"No, Rafa, it's on me," Olivia stated.

No one else was in the office.

"Are you doing okay?" He asked.

"Yeah, I am doing okay."

"You know every relationship; I've had I've only felt the thorns." Raphael stated

"Know the feeling." Olivia agreed.

Raphael closed his eyes.

"Liv, it doesn't have to be now, but the room in your heart, can I share it with you?" Raphael asked.

He closed his eyes tight, not willing to see the rejection in her eyes, not wanting to burn the memory of the rejection into his retinas for all of time.

"Rafa you already do." Olivia stated as she reached out and hugged him.

"You can have this heart to break." Raphael stated.

Olivia sighed.

"You know Noah comes first." Olivia stated.

"I know as he should. I never want to come between the two of you, but I wouldn't mind reading to him playing with him. I want to treat him like a son Liv." Raphael stated.

"I want that too," Olivia stated.

She pulled away from him, knowing they were still in his office.

"You're the only one who knows," Raphael stated.

"I guess we need to disclose," Olivia stated Raphael's eyes wide, and he laughed, knowing she was trying to get a rise out of him. He wrapped her back in a hug and held not sure where it was going, but he was willing to let her break his heart.

I hope you guys are enjoying this. Reviews are great thanks!


	5. Love Lies

This next one-shot is R/O Love lies Khaild & Normani (RO). Usually, I have a timeline in the series for when this happens, but this time I don't. I hope you enjoy and as always love the reviews. Also, I guess I should plug my R/O Moving Along.

Rafael Barba was sitting on his desk in his office. He had just let Olivia down, telling her there was not enough evidence to get a search warrant, and she was livid. She knew what he was going to say before she even got there, but she pushed, and he pushed, and even though it was their jobs to do this, he still felt like an ass. He knew dwelling on it wasn't helpful, so he sat back down, going over a case that was going to court at the end of the week.

Rafael got a text from Olivia.

"Sorry I got mad, I know you're just doing your job. Meet me at the precinct soon I have something you'll want to see on the Owens case." Olivia claimed.

Rafael looked at the folders and found the Owens case quickly glancing through it, before heading to the precinct to see what was going on. When he walked through the doors, Carasi was quick to show him the new evidence. Rafael had to admit that it made a very compelling argument that their main suspect, John Little, was indeed guilty. He was relieved.

Rafael knocked on Olivia's office door.

"Come in." Olivia stated.

"Hey, Carasi showed me. He's good on it. Makes it easy to go to trial, but I have felt with this we'll reach a deal." Raphael stated.

"Mmm I hope so I'm not sure Marissa can take the stand." Olivia admitted.

"Looks like you owe me a steak dinner," Raphael stated.

"I wish I could, but I haven't seen Noah all week," Olivia stated.

"I'm getting a little tired of being stood up." He half-joked.

Olivia looked up at him and smiled.

"Sorry." Olivia stated.

"Why don't you bring Noah with you?" Rafael stated.

"Because a three year old at whatever steak restaurant you decide to go to will not end well." Olivia stated.

"Oh come on live a little. Worst they'll do is throw us out, so I'll pick the 2nd best steak house in the city." Rafael begged.

Olivia laughed.

"You're serious," Olivia stated.

"I am." Rafael admitted.

"Fine, I am trying to be out of here by 5:30 to send Lucy home." Olivia stated.

"I'll be here, and I'll drive you home," Raphael stated.

"Okay, see you then," Olivia stated.

Rafael didn't miss the blush in her cheeks. He was surprised by that. He knew she hadn't dated anyone as far as he knew since Brian, but both of them did keep pretty quiet about their love life, especially with one another. He didn't think it quite a date, especially with Noah coming along, but he would take it. He had to admit he loved spending time with her. So he went back to his office a slight spring in his step and pushed to get work done to get back to Olivia before 5:30 pm.

Rafael had made it on time. Olivia was shutting down her computer and slipping on a jacket.

"You ready?" He asked.

"I think the better question is, are you ready to deal with Noah." Olivia stated.

"I think we'll manage," Raphael stated.

"I was hoping you wouldn't say no to Rocco's steak house. It's close to the 28th St station." Rafael explained.

"Wow, ADA Barba takes the subway," Olivia stated.

"Please I've lived here my entire life. It's my main mode of transportation." Rafael claimed.

Olivia smiled, and they walked, driving to Olivia's apartment.

When they got through the door, Lucy was surprised to see Rafael he had met her a few times when he and Liv were going over cases, t it seemed like she could tell that today it wasn't quite the case. She had Cheshire cat grins when she saw him.

"I didn't know you had company, I can watch Noah." Lucy quickly stated.

"No, I have barely seen him, and I miss him," Olivia claimed.

Noah raced to the door to see his mom and grabbed her by the leg.

"Mommy." He squealed with delight.

"Yeah, baby, I'm home," Olivia claimed.

Rafael suddenly felt bad. Olivia desperately wanted time with Noah, and here was trying to take her out, and even though he would be right there with her, she wouldn't enjoy it.

Lucy left the apartment.

"Let me get him ready," Olivia stated.

"No, you need time with Noah another time," Rafael stated.

Olivia sort of looked relieved, but he could also see a sadness in her eyes.

"What about we order in Italian," Rafael recommends.

"That sounds perfect," Olivia stated.

"What do you think Noah; uncle Rafa is getting us Italian. Do you want spaghetti?" Olivia asked.

"Sketti!" Noah said happily.

Rafael smiled at the little boy.

"What do you want, Liv?" Raphael asked.

"Eggplant parmesan." Olivia answered.

Rafael called in the order adding Lasagna to the order.

"Uncle Rafa, look at these!" Noah stated.

Noah had lego Duplo in a bag. Oliva explained that Uncle Fin got them for him.

Rafael smiled and helped Noah build them and stacked them up to a big tower before Noah knocked it down and giggled. Olivia was telling Noah the different colors of the blocks and asking him what shapes they were. Rafael was happy. It wasn't a steak dinner, but he was perfectly content, spending his evening this way.

The Italian came, and Noah happily played with the noodles more than eating them. He had sauce all over his face, but he was happy. Olivia and Noah enjoyed their Italian as well, and Noah was drifting off as Olivia wiped his face and put him in his toddler bed for sleep.

"Thanks for dinner, Rafa," Olivia stated.

"Hey, you still owe me a steak," Rafael stated.

"One day, I will take you out to steak dinner anytime you want it." Olivia stated.

Olivia came close to him but stopped herself from getting to close.

"Liv?" Rafael started.

"Sorry, I just..." Olivia trailed off.

"I know." Rafael stated.

"I know there is a lot going on right now," Rafael stated.

"I am really private and independent, and I'm sorry." Olivia backed off towards the other side of the kitchen.

"I know I'm hard to read, too," Rafael stated.

"Is there, can there be?" Rafael asked.

"I Rafa, I've been waiting a long time," Olivia stated.

"Just tell me if you're not into us," Rafael stated.

"I, you're a mystery Rafa, I feel like I've always known you but, I couldn't tell anyone your birthday, or your favorite color. I'm not even sure I know where you live." Olivia stated.

"I know that feeling," Rafael stated.

Olivia felt compelled to draw closer to him, she walked towards the top of her fridge and brought down a bottle of scotch.

"I wanted to see what all the fuss was about." She stated as she poured him a glass.

Rafael laughed, she put a few ice cubes in each glass and did a double pour for both of them.

He just looked at her.

"It's 8 pm Rafael, you have somewhere you need to be?" Olivia asked.

"No." He stated and sipped the drink.

Rafael sipped the scotch and sat with her.

Olivia bumped his arm.

"Rafa..." Olivia trailed off

"Just say it Liv." Rafael stated.

"Spend the night?" Olivia asked.

Rafael swallowed hard.

"You sure?" Rafael asked.

"If you want there to be an us, you need to prove it," Olivia stated.

"If it takes all night," Rafael stated.

He leaned in and kissed her feeling the rush that he knew Olivia felt too.


	6. Liar

Liar – Camila Cabello (EO)

So this is going to be an Olivia /Elliot, and it's going to be about almost a year since Elliot left.

Oliva groaned. She didn't want to go to the NYPD Ball. She had gotten out of it for the last several years scheduling herself to work during the time and allowing someone else to represent the 1-6, but this time it was Olivia's turn and everyone dreaded it, just as much as her. Fin took her over to the side the day before the ball.

"Look, I didn't know if I should say something or not, but my guys tell me Stablers gonna be at the party tomorrow." Fin stated.

He watched as the color drained from her face for a second.

"Why the hell would he be there he retired," Olivia asked.

"Apparently he's contracted for some classes Liv if you want me to go..." Fin trailed off.

"No, Fin, it is fine. It doesn't matter," Olivia stated.

'It's a big place, I doubt we even bump into each other." Olivia claimed.

"Yeah, you're right, Liv, but if you need anything." Fin stated.

"I know, thanks Fin," Olivia stated and put his hand on his shoulder and went home.

Olivia went to her apartment, closed the door, and said a mantra. "It doesn't matter anymore."

Olivia went into a fitful sleep dreaming of Elliot Stabler. She awoke the next day tired. She got ready to go into the office, knowing she needed to get home by 4 to get prepared for the stupid ball. She went into the 1-6 praying a big case broke out, and it would be all hands on deck. Then she took back the prayer because that would mean multiple victims or death. So she sighed and went in for the day. She did her work sitting filling out paperwork they hadn't caught a case. It was time for her to leave, and Fin walked out, getting her attention.

"I'm fine Fin, really, I'm over it. If I see him, who cares." Olivia stated.

She knew Fin didn't believe her but she left and got ready for the ball. Olivia had a straight gown that hit her ankles; it was navy blue and had little crystals all over it. She had fallen in love with the dress the moment she saw it and reminded her of dusk as the first stars would start to shine. She did her hair, put on makeup. She called a taxi to take her to the hotel where the ball was being held.

Olivia sat at the bar and talked to the chief. She knew some other people Ed tucker being one, and although she despised the man, it was better talking to him than it was searching out Elliot Stabler.

Ed had said something, but Olivia wasn't entirely paying attention. She just smiled and shook her head and grabbed another drink. She wasn't sure if this was her 4th or 5th in the last hour and a half, but it wasn't enough. She had to endure two more hours before she could even begin to call it a night.

She talked to some other police officers she knew and went back to the bar for another drink. By this time, she had felt pretty good, and the alcohol helped suppress her level of alert for Elliot Stabler. She was just starting to think she would miss him in the place when she heard him.

"Liv?" Elliot called out.

She screwed her eyes shut. 'He doesn't matter anymore.' Olivia thought.

She turned and looked at him.

Elliot was wearing a tux, the color-matched her gown perfectly. He had a silver tie and pocket square. She grimaced that they matched. She looked down at his hand and noticed he no longer wore a wedding ring.

"Hey." Olivia finally said.

"Look, Liv..." Elliot stated.

Elliot knew that look, and he knew if he said the wrong thing, he could very quickly end up being knocked out in the middle of the floor, so he stopped his sentence.

"Dance with me?" Elliot asked.

She took his hand, no questions asked. He held her close, closer than she could ever remember.

"I'm such a fucking liar," she mumbled.

"What was that?" Elliot asked.

"Nothing, El." She stated.

She breathed in his scent that calmed her. She stared into his eyes that lit a fire. She never wanted to leave.

"El?" Olivia looked at him

He stared back at her, and she let her lips touch his. He didn't deny her, and they were on the dance floor not making out but kissing and breathing hard. Before they knew it, the Ball was over for the night.

Olivia took his hand and took him out onto the streets.

She hailed a cab, pulled him in with her.

"Elliot, is this okay?" Olivia asked.

He just nodded.

They made it to her apartment, her dress pooling on the floor.

"I'm a liar, but I don't care," Olivia stated as she pulled his pants off.


	7. Take Care

Take Care- Drake Feat. Rihanna

Take Care Drake Ft. Rhiana R/O

This is right after Olivia and Brian break up.

Rafael had heard that Olivia and Brian broke up. He wasn't sure when or where he heard it. When he saw her, though, he knew. She was carrying herself differently. She looked tired. You could hear it in her voice, and he sighed. They were going over the Mullins case for the 2nd time, the trial was coming up soon. Rafael got up and closed the blinds and shut the door.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"You know people talk, Liv. Are you okay?" Rafael asked.

"I don't know how it's your business," Olivia stated quickly.

"You're right, and it's not. I know I never speak of my relationships to you, but I do care about you, Liv." Rafael admitted.

Olivia looked into his eyes, knew he was telling her the truth.

"I'm such an idiot. I slept with him 15 years ago, and then he crawls back into my life, and I just needed to take that next step." Olivia started.

"Wait; what?" Rafael was trying to wrap his mind around the fact she and Brian went back that far. He knew they had worked together briefly, but apparently, they slept together briefly too.

"I was 28, and I just started at SVU, he was there, and he was cute, and in that phase of my life, I couldn't even think about a relationship. I thought he was on the same page we went out got drunk. I thought it was a one night stand, and he thought it was true loves kiss." Olivia laughed.

"I told him there was no way, and he wasn't too happy with that." Olivia stated.

Then for the next 12 years, I just slept my way through Manhattan men. I had a few deeper relationships but always worked related. They always come back to bite me in the ass." Olivia stated.

"He had came back from undercover, he was shot, and I don't know. He gave me that same look from all those years ago. I was ready for a relationship this time, and he was too." Olivia explained.

"We took trips together, we moved into together, and at 45 years old, I thought I was finally getting my shit together, you know," Olivia stated.

Rafael just nodded, he had just turned 41, so he knew the feeling.

"I know you don't know this, but before Brian, I had tried so hard to get a baby to adopt. Needless to say, a single parent who works 60+ hours a week with no family isn't really high on the candidate's list for adoption, and I kept getting rejection letter after letter. So I stopped trying about 3 years ago." Olivia explained.

"Brian and I loosely talked about the future but nothing concrete, and last month I thought I was pregnant." Olivia sobbed. I had never been so excited in my life."

"The test came back negative, Brian saw it, and he was eternally grateful for the lack of the 2nd pink line." Olivia scoffed.

"Jesus Liv. I'm so sorry." Rafael stated.

"I'm so sorry I dumped this all on you." Olivia quickly blushed.

"No, don't be," Rafael stated.

"I'm just done. No more relationships. Everything is so much easier when its just someone you meet for 1 night." Olivia stated.

"It is, but it gets lonely after a while," Rafael admitted.

"I'd rather be lonely than broken," Olivia admitted.

"Liv, why don't we go across the street, get a few drinks," Rafael stated.

"Good point, maybe, I can find my rebound." Olivia laughed.

"That wasn't my goal, but if that's what you're looking for." Rafael stated.

"We can find you, someone, too," Olivia stated.

"I don't need a wingman," Rafael stated.

"I don't either." Olivia quickly stated.

"Then, no looking, just drinking," Rafael stated.

"Fine, its, 6:30 maybe we can grab some dinner there too." Olvia suggested.

"Sounds good." Rafael agreed.

They went to the bar Olivia had 3 jack and cokes and was now drinking scotch like Rafael.

"Liv, this isn't a race," Rafael warned.

"I could drink you under the table Barba," Olivia stated.

"I don't doubt it," Rafael stated.

Olvia downed her scotch and asked for another.

"I hope you're not expecting me to foot the bill I don't know if I can cover it." Rafael joked.

Olivia looked back at the drink, suddenly aware that she had been drinking way to fast, and dizziness hit her. She closed her eyes for a moment, reminding herself that the alcohol was only a temporary fix and sipped her next drink.

"Liv, I know it hurts right now, but you'll figure this out," Rafael reassures her.

"I told you I'm done with all of this," Olivia stated.

"Alright, then." Rafael sighed. Wishing that one day she would give him a shot.

The months flew by, and Rafael noticed Olivia slowly going back to Olivia. They had become friendly, and ever since the drunken night at the bar for whatever reason, Olivia decides to tell him about her escapades. It gets to the point he doesn't see a reason not to partake, and he too is brining home a girl every now and then just to satisfy an urge. One day he mistakingly tells Olivia his birthday is coming up, and she wants to invite everyone and take him to the club. He tries to talk her out of it, denies he will show up, but she has asked the whole 1-6 and more than ½ the DA's office.

Rafael never liked big crowds; it always made him nervous. His mother insisted on seeing him on his birthday, and when he sees an old friend in the neighborhood who offers him a joint, he takes the offer. He's much more mellow when he arrives at the club and sees that Olivia had ordered bottle service. He is slightly taken aback.

"Wow, Liv, I didn't expect this," Rafael stated.

Olivia smiled.

"It's your birthday Rafa, and when was the last time you celebrated.

"When I was 21." Rafael stated.

"All the more reason then," Olivia stated.

Fin whispered in Olivia's ear.

She glanced over once more and noticed the bloodshot eyes, the way he was talking a little slower than average and hit it her.

Rafael sat beside her.

She whispered in his ear.

"You thought it was a good idea to get high when you're coming to a birthday party full of cops?" Olivia asked.

"I can do whatever I want, Liv," Rafael stated definitely.

"I'm not saying you can't, but you sort of are, our ADA if someone were to find out." Olivia stated.

"Sorry, I really don't care," Rafael admitted.

Olivia sighed.

"Fine, I won't say anything else about it," Olivia stated.

Rafael got up and mingled with other guests who showed up.

He was a pretty far distance away, but Amanda and Olivia both had been drinking and were talking louder than usual.

"You love him." Amanda stated.

"It's not like that, Amanda, not at all." Olivia stated.

"Come on, Liv, you know he loves you," Amanda claimed.

"I can't, you know we all had sacrifices when I had a dream of detective I didn't realize I lost my dream of a family too," Olivia admitted.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Amanda explained.

"But it is that way, I'm done with trying to search for something I'm never going to find," Olivia stated.

Rafael took another drink of scotch, a 25-year-old scotch Olivia had bought at the bar for him, and it was some of the best he had ever had. It was doing nothing for the hurt in his heart, though. Olivia found her way over to him, asking to dance.

Rafael could dance, something he knew he was good at, but he rarely did, and never in public, well not in front of friends. So when they start dancing, everyone is surprised by the way he moves, and Olivia's breath hitched when he got close his knees in between hers.

"Rafa why haven't we danced before tonight?" She asked.

"Why would we have?" Rafael asked.

"I don't know, I just, this is new." Olivia admitted.

"So what now you know I'm a good dancer did something change?" Rafael asked angerly.

"No, no, of course not," Olivia stated.

"Okay, then." Rafael stated.

A slower song came on, and Rafael pulled Olivia in, holding form, and she put her hands in position, they slowly close the gap between their bodies.

Before he could stop the words from slipping out of his mouth, he says:

"You tell your friends you don't love me."

Olivia sighed.

"I love you Rafa, you're my best friend, but they think I'm in love with you." Olivia claimed.

"Are you?" Rafael asked.

"Rafa." Olivia begged.

"Let me in Liv, I know you're broken-hearted but, just let me in. Let me take care of you." Rafael stated.

Olivia looked up at him in his eyes, they were no longer bloodshot, and they seemed crystal clear they were luring her lips to his. When their lips finally meet, there is no stopping one another as they kiss each other. They both check to see if anyone is watching and slip to the back corner of the club for some time alone.


	8. Honey & the Moon

Honey and the Moon -Joseph Arthur

This is going to be a sad R/O takes place right after Undiscovered Country.

Rafael wanted to tell her even after all this time, it felt like she was a dream. She wasn't real, and he was in some type of fantasy. He sometimes wondered if he wasn't in some epically long dream, and he had made her up. He would never tell her that, especially not now, it was hard enough to leave her. After he thanked her in the best way, he knew how he walked away from the courthouse and back to his apartment, where he had already packed up most of his things.

Olivia was in her bathroom shower, crying. The only place she allowed her self to cry. Noah was asleep, and she couldn't even imagine what her life was going to be like now that Rafael Barba had gone. She had texted him after he walked away after she thought he was going to tell her his feelings. She swallowed her pride, though, just hoping he would be okay. He was leaving her, just like they all did, at least this time he told her. She thought back to the texts they had only just exchanged.

Olivia: Rafa where are you going?"

Rafael: Liv, I have to go away for a while to clear my head. I'll be in Miami with my family. You know that this has nothing to do with you.

Olivia: I know it's just you know that we, that I care for you.

Rafael: I know, but right now isn't a good time.

Olivia: It never is, I wish I could follow you. I wish you could still make your dreams come true, but I know I can't. I know you can't.

Rafael: Everything I want right now, I know I'm not going to get.

Olivia: I feel like my whole life is upside down right now. I just wish I could follow you.

Rafael: You're right everything is upside down right now, but the sunny shores will do me wonders.

Olivia: I trust you Rafa, more than you'll ever know.

Rafael: Liv, you need to know you've been my world for a long time now, but I think we met at the wrong time in our lives.

Olivia: I think you're right, when are you leaving?"

Rafael: My flight out is Thursday.

Olivia: Can I see you one last time?

Rafael: My place10am

Olivia: I'll see you then.

Olivia stood in the shower, the water going cold some time ago, but it didn't matter . She was numb anyway. He was leaving, and she would see him one more time. She wasn't sure how she was going to tell Noah that Rafa wasn't going to be around anymore, but that's a discussion for another day. She got dressed and went to bed in a fitful sleep.

Thursday came Olivia told Fin she wouldn't be in until the afternoon or evening. She felt her heart racing as she told Noah and Lucy goodbye and headed to his side of town. When she got into the elevator, she almost broke down, knowing this the last time she would be headed up to see him. She bit her lip to stop the tears from falling. She knocked on the door, and she saw Rafa.

"Hey, Liv." Rafael stated.

"Rafa," she sighed.

"Hey my flight was delayed, so we could just hang around."

"Uh, yeah." Olivia stated.

Olivia and Rafael stare at each other; they made small talk Rafael had admitted his mother is mad that he "is running away." They talked about the last six years of their relationship and before he knew it was time for him to go, he had meant for this goodbye to be short and sweet, but they had been lingering in his apartment for the last 2 hours. Olivia could sense his need to leave.

"We going to play phone tag once you're down there?" Olivia asked.

"Probably, we always have," Rafael explained.

"You know just because you're not here doesn't mean we can't talk," Olivia stated.

"I know it's going to be hard, Liv, Miami is freedom from all this," Rafael stated.

"And even though you would love too, I am part of all this too." Olivia finished.

"Yeah, I wish you could come with me," Rafael stated as he held her hand.

"I understand you have to run away, but this is always your home Rafa," Olivia stated.

"Liv, I love you," Rafael admitted.

"I love you too," Olivia admitted.

"Right now everything I feel the darkness is overtaking the light, the color is draining from this world already, and I will try to keep you in my world Liv, because like I said before, you make me see in color." Rafael stated.

He kissed her on the lips this time, nothing too fevered, but something more than a chaste kiss you give a friend. Olivia didn't move, as he walked away down to the elevator, leaving Olvia in his bare apartment, for her to process the conversation.


	9. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight

I'd Really Love to See You Tonight- England Dan and John Ford Coley this story is this season.

Olivia smiled for once as she looked down at her phone, Rafael Barba was calling her. Although he was no longer the ADA. They still talked time to time, she still missed seeing him.

"Hey, Rafa?" Olivia stated happily.

"Hey, Liv, I just wanted to catch up, how is everything?" Rafael asked.

"Well, Carasi finally took your place," Olivia mentioned.

"Really, and how's he doing?" Rafael asked.

"He is doing really well, don't tell him I said that though." Olivia laughed.

"How is Amanda taking it?" Rafael asked.

"Not good." Olivia stated.

"Hmm, I'm gonna be honest, Liv, I just called to see if maybe you'd want to get a drink or dinner?" Rafael admitted.

"Yeah, I haven't seen you in a long time, Rafa, and it's not my weekend, so where ever you would like to meet, I'm heading out now," Olivia stated.

"Lets meet at Pattersons?" Rafael asked.

"Sounds good I'll see you there." Olivia stated.

She walked out the door, seeing Fin and Amanda still there.

"Go home, and I'll see you on Monday," Olivia stated.

She took the elevator and walked the three blocks over to Pattersons.

Olivia walked in and saw Rafael sitting at a high top table, and she joined him. He had a scotch. She ordered a glass of wine, and they looked over the menu.

"I missed that smile, Olivia Benson," Rafael stated.

"Missed yours, too," Olivia admitted.

"I wanted to let you know I am going back to the private sector, Social security benefits." Rafael explained.

"You finally run out of money," Olivia asked.

"Something like that," Rafael stated.

"Hey, I didn't mean." Olivia started.

"No, I know." Rafael stated.

"So um, I, asked you here because I'd like to get more involved." Rafael stated and then finished his scotch in 1 gulp.

Olivia stared at him for a minute.

"Rafa, what are you talking about?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know, walk in the park, go to the shore, even stay at home and play with Noah." Rafael offered.

"Like going out on dates?" Olivia asked.

"I don't care what you call it, Liv," Rafael admitted.

"Rafa, I care about you I do, but, that's a big change, and I don't know," Olivia stated.

"Liv, I know you're going to have to fit me in whenever. I'm not asking you to change your life for me. I just feel a lot better when I'm with you." Rafael admitted.

"You know how relationships work with me, Rafa," Olivia claimed.

"I'm not asking for anything Liv, we've both had issues when it comes to relationships, so when it's goodbye, then it's goodbye." Rafael stated.

"Okay, Rafa, we can go slow," Olivia stated.

"All the time it takes." Rafael agreed.

The two ordered food and caught up with each other, Olivia had to admit he made her smile and she missed having him around. They stayed at the bar a bit later than she was intending. Rafael offered to share an Uber with her. Olivia's apartment was on the way to his own. Olivia agreed, when she got out of the car, he smiled at her.

"See you soon?" Rafael asked.

"Of course." Olivia stated, she closed the car door and headed up to see Noah.

The next morning Olivia was happy it was Saturday, she and Noah were going to the park, then they were planning on baking cookies and watching cartoons. Olivia had been walking to the park when she heard her text alert, she waited until she sat down on the park bench to open it up.

"I'd really love to see you tonight.- Rafa.

Olivia sighed, she felt the same way but wasn't going to ruin her day with Noah, and she wasn't quite ready to tell him that uncle Rafa may be back in the picture.

"Come after 9 pm Noah should be in bed by then." Olivia stated.

"I'll see you then," Rafael responded.


	10. I Drove All Night

I Drove All Night – Cyndi Lauper

This can be set anywhere between seasons 19-21.

Olivia hadn't told anyone at work she and Rafael Barba had been seeing each other. He had moved up to Rochester, NY, after leaving the DA office. Of course, with over 5 hours between them, it didn't leave much time to see each other. They would meet most of the time halfway, spending a weekend in the hotel room. Usually getting suites when Noah came with Olivia. She never told Noah not to say anything about Rafael, but he didn't mention anything to her coworkers when they were around. She wasn't embarrassed, but as always, it was complicated, and she didn't want to hear it all the time at work.

It was a Friday afternoon, and Olivia Benson was emotionally exhausted. She watched as they had to let a man go after his girlfriend refused to press charged for rape. She watched a 19-year-old college student break down on the stand after defense attorney questioned her sex video she had made a year earlier that was on display. She and Amanda got into an argument after the latest case and still weren't entirely on speaking terms. Right as she was ready to walk at the door, the phone rings, and it's a rape of the mayor's niece. Of course, she had to be the lead, and it 6:30 pm she and Fin are going out to the home for an initial interview.

Multiple people insist on talking to both Olivia and Fin, demanding someone arrested immediately, even though there wasn't anything to go on. It took over 3 hours for them to go over everything. It was late when she and Fin got back to the squad room. Fin and Olivia agreed to order a pizza while entering the information in the system. By the time they got done, it was 11 pm. Noah was already down for the night; Lucy agreed to stay the night.

Olivia just wanted to see Rafael. They were supposed to meet for a weekend alone in Bringhamton, but she didn't care; she wanted him tonight. Well, at this rate this morning. She grabbed a large coffee, and told Fin goodnight, and reminded him that she had personal days this weekend, and wouldn't be picking up her phone. He walked out with her, and they went to their cars, and instead of heading home, she drove.

Olivia was completely zoned and just watching the road, and it was 4:30 am when she realized she was at his place. She had been there a time or two before. She parked on the street, he had rented a townhouse, and she felt strange knocking on his door, she called him as she hit.

"Liv, what's wrong?!" Raphael asked, tired and confused.

"I'm outside your door," Olivia explained.

She could hear him through the phone rushing down the steps.

He opened the door, and her body was instantly covering his, her lips pressed against his. He held her tightly in his arms.

"Are you okay?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah, now I am okay," Olivia admitted.

"Tough week?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah." Olivia admitted.

"You drove all night; you must be exhausted," Rafael stated.

"I don't know I think I found my second wind." Olivia stated.

She kissed him hard, pulled him impossibly close to her.

He laughed.

" I swear I could only think about this, the whole way here." Olivia admitted to him.

Rafael couldn't stop the moan coming from his lips as they stood in his doorway; she light bit his bottom lip.

"Why don't we finish this inside," Rafael asked.

Olivia blushed quickly but agreed, stepping inside. She grabbed a bag she always had in the car, a change of clothes, and some toiletries, and her purse. Olivia then quickly grabbed Rafael once again. He was so happy to see her.

"Let's go to bed," Rafael stated.

Olivia shook her head and followed him up the steps. They were in his bedroom, and she pushed him onto the bed. Olivia was stripping off her shirt. She was unbuttoning her pants.

"Is this alright?" Olivia asked as she turned and faced him.

"Yeah." Rafael said huskily.

She had her hip on his, only in her underwear, and he sat up, allowing her to take off his shirt. Soon enough, they were naked. He was inside of her, and she felt as if her world was complete. After they had both finished, she could barely rollover. She was exhausted.

"Was that alright?" Olivia asked.

"You don't have to ask," Rafael stated. He kissed her temple and turned over, wrapping her with one arm before they both fell asleep.


	11. I Think He Knows

I Think He Knows- Taylor Swift.

Olivia walked up to Vinny's the bar that Rafael often frequented. She wasn't sure when this became "their thing." Of course, he was part of the group who celebrated when they got a big win, but somehow they had an unspoken rule when they got a tough case, one that Rafael wasn't sure of they met at Vinny's. Olivia wondered if she had ever missed him, he had always been there when she showed up. She had asked the bartender if Rafael was there every night, but he insisted it was only when she was there too.

She swallowed when she looked through the bar's window. She saw the cold glass in his hand, he actually had a beer, and she wasn't sure exactly what that meant. His eyes locked on to hers as she looked through the window, and she felt like she was stuck in place by his eyes. He smiled at her and only when he turned to the bartender, to order her drink did she move. Olivia thinks that Rafael has found her out.

"Hey, Liv," Rafael stated.

"Hey, I know this is going to be a tough one, but we'll figure it out," Olivia stated.

"We always do," Rafael claimed.

She smiled and put her hand on his giving it a reassuring squeeze.

A beer was set down beside her.

"This isn't our usual," Olivia mentioned but took a sip.

"I know, working up to the scotch." Rafael laughed.

"You plan to be here a while," Olivia stated.

"If, you'll stay with me," Rafael claimed.

Olivia's heart was skipping as the words fell from his mouth.

"Yeah of course but not too late," Olivia stated.

Rafael shook his head.

They talked about the usual things they did when they found each other at Vinny's. She would talk about Noah, he would talk about his mother usually but from time to time some of his friends. They would discuss weekend plans and occasionally if there was a sports game on they would make a friendly wager, and this night was no different. Olivia and Rafael avoided talking about work at all costs and it wasn't until 3 hours later when they had 1 beer and 4 scotches a piece, that walked out together. Olivia and Rafael would hold hands after a long night, and they would walk to her apartment first before he took an uber home. She would wait with him and only head up to her apartment after he was safely in the car.

Olivia sighed as she closed her apartment door. Lucy was still awake working on something.

"Did you just get back from some date?" Lucy asked.

Olivia blushed "No, of course not."

"Oh, you were with Barba again," Lucy stated.

"You don't understand," Olivia stated.

Lucy just laughed.

"Whatever Liv, I can see you thinking up a plan," Lucy stated.

Olivia shot her a glare but knew she was right.

"If you want to stay here I know it's getting late," Olivia stated.

"No, I am headed home I will be back in the morning," Lucy stated.

Olivia went to the fridge and found some leftovers heated them up and ate while watching something on TV for about an hour before heading to bed.

The next few weeks went by with no feelings of needing to go to Vinny's. She was yearning to share some time with him, and he would come to sit in her office when it was slow, and they would just talk. Amanda had mentioned something about the 2 of them.

"Does he know how much you're into him, hell do you know how much you're into him?" Amanda asked.

Olivia blushed. "I think he knows."

It wasn't until after day one of the trial when she knew she would walk his footsteps to the bar. Sure enough, he was there a scotch in his hand already emptied as he signaled for another.

She sighed.

"Rafa, please don't do this to yourself. You had a strong argument." Olivia stated.

"Liv, he slaughtered me." Rafael sighed as he quickly downed the 2nd drink and signaled for a 3rd.

"Not tonight Barba, your back at it first thing in the morning, and as the bartender slid him the 3rd drink Olivia caught it, and took a sip herself, Rafael looked defeated.

"Rafa, this isn't you, where's that spirt I saw earlier today in the courtroom?" Olivia asked.

"Left it there," Rafael claimed.

"Well, let's go find it," Olivia stated.

Olivia wasn't sure what made those words come out of her mouth but it got her a cocky grin so she felt like she had won.

Olivia asked for the tab and paid. It was still very early in the evening barely at 6pm. He locked onto her hand like always. They walked to her apartment like always but when he went to get an uber she grabbed the phone.

"Come up, Noah would love to see you," Olivia claimed.

Rafael let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Rafael admitted.

Rafael went up the steps with Olivia she dropped his hand as she slid her key in the door. Noah was indeed excited to see his "uncle Rafa." Lucy and Olivia talked for a little bit as Noah caught Rafael up on all his new toys and games, and his new favorite app on his tablet. Rafael smiled at the boy taking it all in.

"Do you think they know how much they love each other?" Lucy asked.

"I think they know," Olivia stated.

Lucy walked out the door leaving the 3 of them for the evening. They ate dinner together, and Olivia reminded Noah it was a school night and he needed to get to bed early. Noah was so excited after spending the day with Rafael it wore him out and he was asleep quickly.

Olivia sat down on the couch next to Rafael.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah Noah, he really has a way of making you forget about everything for a little while," Rafael admitted.

"Yeah better and cheaper then what your plan was earlier." Olivia laughed.

"You're right," Rafael admitted.

As they sat on the couch she flipped through the channels finding a movie.

She leaned into him her heart racing and sparks flying where ever she touched. She couldn't help but feel the tension in the air.

"Liv?" Rafael said airily.

"Yeah?" she asked.

"Is this, is this okay?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah," Olivia said.

Rafael, sat there eventually putting his hand on her thigh, and it felt like fire to her.

She couldn't help the moan as all the plans in her head of what she wanted to do with him, came to her.

Rafael looked over at her and they stared for a long minute before she pushed her lips against his.

Before he knew it they were on her couch, his jacket was off and she was unbuttoning his shirt.

"Bedroom?" Olivia asked.

Rafael gave her another cocky grin and shook his head yes. As she pulled him to the bedroom she said.

"I want to see what's under that attitude."

Rafael replied: "I have plenty to show."

Olivia pulled him in and quickly shut the door.

The next morning, the case wrapped up, the jury barely took any time in deliberation and came back with a guilty plea.

Olivia, Rafael, and Amanda came back from court, they planned a celebratory drink as normal. When Rafael hugged Amanda and said thank you, and when he went to hug Olivia she instinctively went to kiss him but stopped herself at the last second.

Amanda grinned at her as Rafael walked out of the building.

"You gonna tell him?" Amanda asked.

"No, I think he knows," Olivia stated.


	12. Just a Kiss

Just a Kiss Lady Antebellum - RO

This is set between season 15 and 16

Olivia Benson wasn't sure why she called him. She was overwhelmed and didn't want to admit that to anyone else. She wasn't actually sure how or when, but somehow Rafael Barba had been her best friend. He was always in her corner, and she was always in his, no matter what. She was feeling defeated. Olivia had just started fostering Noah, and she already loves the little boy like her own, but he was traumatized. He was screaming and crying since 2 am, it was now 6 am, and he hadn't stopped even when she was feeding him he was whimpering. Olivia was supposed to me with Rafael that morning, in his office at 8 am, but that wasn't happening. This was the 3rd time this week, he Noah had been up like this, and she couldn't run on empty another day.

"Barba" Rafael answered.

The first thing he heard was a crying child, and then he heard Olivia say, "Hey."

"Hey 8 am, isn't going to work for me at your office, is it possible to go over some things here?" Olivia asked.

"Will we be able to hear each other?" Rafael asked.

"I hope so he has been up since 2 am doing this. I hope by the time you get here, he'll be worn out," Olivia stated.

Rafael confirmed he would meet her at her apartment and finished getting ready for the day.

Rafael showed up at 7:55 am, Olivia came to the door, her smile hit her eyes, but he could see how tired she was. Noah was in her arms, drifting off to sleep. After about 15 minutes, Olivia put him in his room, grabbed the baby monitor, and went back to the living room.

"You sure you're up for this?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah, I want to get at least something work-related done. I know it's cutting close. I'm going into the office tonight after I get some sleep.

"How's that going?" Rafael asked.

"Not good, if it's not Noah, waking me up in the middle of the night, it's nightmares," Olivia said truthfully.

"Liv?" Rafael stated.

"It's okay. I know I'll pass out as soon as you leave." Olivia stated.

"Alright, let's get started," Rafael stated.

They went over trial prep, and Olivia was going through the motions, she hadn't done anything wrong, but she was short, not answering the questions wrong, but not responding in the best way she could. Rafael couldn't be mad at her, though. She was a new mom, on her own, and that little boy had gone through hell, Olivia had gone through hell, and he was in awe of her.

"Liv, why don't you go to bed," Rafael asked.

"I don't know if I can right now I have a lot on my mind," Olivia stated.

"Can I do anything to help?" Rafael asked.

"No, not really," Olivia stated.

"Alright, What time are you headed to work?" Rafael asked.

"I'll be there around 4-12 hopefully." Olivia stated.

"Okay." Rafael stated.

Rafael had spent his day organizing the next 2 cases to go to trial, he had offered a deal to 3 people, and he was exhausted, but another case came to his desk, and he sighed, looking over the details. Rafael was so caught up in work he didn't realize it was already 7 pm, until his stomach growled. He packed his briefcase, thinking about the day and remembering Olivia went into work late. He wondered if she had eaten. He walked over to the 1-6. He saw Olivia in her office, there were, of

course, multiple uniformed officers wandering around, all the detectives had gone home, and Olivia was in her office typing away at the computer.

He smiled at her and knocked on her open door.

"Barba, what can I do for you?" Olivia asked.

"Have you had dinner?" He asked.

"Not yet." Olivia admitted.

"Care if I order in, I still have some pre-trial work. I figured maybe we could share a desk." Rafael asked.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Olivia admitted.

Rafael ordered a pizza and opened his briefcase going over case notes for the trial coming up into days. He had already been over them once, but he liked to re-read them several times to make sure nothing was missing, trying to figure out the angle of the defense and try to avoid any mistakes.

Olivia had been typing a report, they were both quiet, respecting each other's work. When the pizza came, Rafael and Olivia paused and ate.

"you get any sleep after I left?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah until about noon, and Noah woke up soaking wet and hungry."Olivia stated. I tried to get him to go back to sleep, and he did go back to sleep at 1:30 pm. I slept until three and got ready." Olivia admitted.

"Liv, how many hours have you slept in the past ten days," Rafael asked.

"I'm fine." Olivia stated.

"I have no idea what it's like to be a parent, but I think it's safe to say maybe you need to take a day off to sleep," Rafael stated.

"It would be nice, I might, I just have a feeling I would do something else instead, or Noah will be awake." Olivia stated.

Olivia went home right as it was midnight. Olivia asks the Luy to spend the night, and she agrees.

Olivia went straight to bed. Noah slept through the night, but she woke up 3 different times to a nightmare, only sleeping about 5 hours in total.

The trail was tomorrow and Olivia looked and felt like shit. Rafael had asked if she could genuinely prep with him today, and she agreed, she hadn't caught a case, and she went to his office. After 2 hours, they were finished.

"Liv, did you sleep last night," Rafael asked.

"A little bit, it wasn't Noah, it was nightmares," Olivia admitted.

"Have you tried sleeping pills?" Rafael asked.

Olivia wouldn't admit it to anyone else but him.

"Yeah actually it makes them worse, its a side effect of all of them no matter what I take, and with having Noah, most of them only work if you get more than 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep and right now that isn't possible." Olivia stated.

"Have the nightmares have been this bad ever since..." Rafael trailed off.

"No, if I'm being honest, they got worse after Brian left, and after Noah, now he's in them too." Olivia sighed.

"Let's get you home. Have an early dinner and get you to bed, I'll do whatever I can to help you get some sleep." Rafael stated.

"I really appreciate it, Barba, but I'm fine." Olivia stated.

"I need you well-rested for tomorrow, I've done all I can with this case. I have no meetings. Let me take you home. I don't need the jury questioning if you're hungover." Rafael stated.

Olivia looked at him.

"I'm serious Liv, your eyes are bloodshot, you look exhausted, and if you look that way on the stand, it could be trouble." Rafael explains.

"FINE!" Olivia shouted.

Rafael smiled, got his jacket and his briefcase, and followed Olivia out the door.

Olivia walked through the door, the sitter looked at her oddly with Rafael by her side.

"Hi, Liv, Noah just got down for a nap." He wasn't too fussy today." Lucy stated.

"Thank you Lucy, this is ADA Rafael Barba, who thinks I need a babysitter tonight." Olivia stated.

"You need to sleep," Rafael mentioned for the 100th time.

Oliva rolled her eyes.

"What I need is a cheesecake and a bottle of wine and for my cell phone to conveniently disappear," Olivia stated.

"No drinking the night before the case," Rafael stated.

"Since when was that a rule?" Olivia asked.

"Since now." Rafael stated.

Olivia sighed as Lucy packed up and left.

Oliva went into Noah's room and looked at her sleeping baby, still not quite sure this was real.

"He's beautiful, Liv." Rafael stated.

"Just you wait when he wakes up at 3 am." Olivia stated.

"I didn't know this was a slumber party, I would have brought me could pajamas." Rafael stated.

Olivia blushed,

"I didn't mean it like that you can go home now. I'm fine. I'm just going to get some dinner and go to bed." Olivia said quickly.

Rafael ignored the whole comment.

"Is that when he wakes up usually?" Rafael asked.

Olivia looked at him.

"Sometimes usually when I have a busy day ahead." Olivia stated.

"Listen I said I was going to help you, and I am, so if that means staying on your couch to get Noah so you can lay in bed, that's what I'm here for." Rafael stated.

"You don't have to do that, you're not…" Olivia wasn't quite sure how to finish the sentence.

"I'm your friend Liv, and I'm here for you." Rafael admitted.

"Okay, thanks." Olivia stated.

Rafael found a place that delivered cheesecake and made an order

They sat on the couch as Rafael channel surfed, putting it on a movie he recognized but couldn't remember the title of.

Olivia didn't say anything and sat beside them.

She closed her eyes, and the next thing she knew, she heard a knock on the door that conveniently was cheesecake but woke up Noah, who was now crying.

Rafael grimaced at the boys, screams.

Olivia walked into the room.

"I'm sorry that bad man woke you up!" Olivia stated.

She bounced the little boy. Rafael smiled at the site. Noah was calming down, obviously happy that his mom was holding him close. Rafael put the cheesecake down on the bar, and Olivia asked if Rafael would hold Noah.

"I don't know Liv." Rafael stated.

"I'm just getting plates, as Olivia held Noah out to Rafael Noah, went from content to starting to cry. Rafael quickly took him not wanting to hear the wails again and held the baby close to him.

"Hey, there amigo," Rafael whispered.

"You're still so sleepy," Rafael stated.

Noah looked up at the man with bright eyes like he understood him perfectly.

Rafael couldn't help but smile at the little boy.

Noah quickly buried his head in Rafael's chest and closed his eyes.

Olivia looked at the two of them, and it just felt right.

"He really likes you, Barba," Olivia stated.

"I'm glad someone in this house agrees to go to sleep." Rafael stated.

Olivia smirked.

"Lay him down in the crib he'll be out a while," Olivia commented.

Olivia grabbed the plates and told Rafael they could go to the couch, and he agreed. They ate a big slice of cheesecake in silence. When they were done, Olivia put the rest on the plate and covered it. Rafael threw the box away and wiped the counter.

"Hey I just wanted to thank you for tonight. I really appreciate it." Olivia stated.

She yawned.

" Hey, go lay down," Rafael stated.

Olivia looked at the bedroom and dreaded the thoughts of what would come behind her eyes, even if Noah didn't wake up.

"Rafael, I can't," Olivia stated.

Panic rose inside of her, and she wanted nothing more than to leave the apartment, but she knew with Noah now there was no running away. She would much instead be chasing a perp, running after someone, be back at the office working a case. She would rater be comforting Noah from his cries than lay down.

"Liv, you're dead on your feet, just please lay down. The sleep will come" Rafael stated.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Olivia admitted.

"Liv, the nightmares are they that bad," Rafael asked.

"Yeah, they are," Olivia stated.

"Can I do anything to help?" Rafael asked.

"Lay with me?" Olivia asked.

Rafael wasn't expecting that as an answer.

"No, that's, please just leave," Olivia begged.

"Liv, if you think it will help," Rafael stated.

"No, it will be awkward, you're going to trial tomorrow, just go," Olivia stated.

"Olivia you need to sleep if it gets too weird I'll go." Rafael stated.

"I just can't be asking my ADA to chase the fake monsters away, okay," Olivia stated.

"Why because I couldn't put the real one away in real life?" Rafael asked, angry.

"Rafa, no, that's not what I meant. I don't blame you I never have, and I never will, he was so manipulating, so vile you got him, Rafael, you were the one to take him down." Olivia stated.

She wasn't quite sure when, but amid the words, she had wrapped her arms tightly around Rafael Barba.

"Don't ever think I don't need you, you're my best friend." Olivia stated.

"Then, let your best friend help you," Rafael stated.

"Okay." Olvia agreed.

"you have any pajama pants?" Rafael asked.

Olivia nodded, she went back to her bedroom and found a pair of pajama pants she knew he would be able to wear, they were green plaid. She pointed to the bathroom. Rafael carefully unbuttoned his shirt took off the suspenders and pulled down his pants neatly folding his wardrobe, leaving his undershirt on, and pulling up the pants that fit comfortably although a little low on his hips.

He came out Olivia had her bedroom door closed but opened a few minutes later in similar attire and old NYPD t-shirt that was too big and blue plaid pajama pants. She rummaged through her. Closet to find Rafael his own blanket.

Olivia and Rafael hesitantly got into the bed together. Olvia wanted nothing more than for him to touch her wrap his arm around her, but she wouldn't ask that of him. They got comfortable.

"Is this okay?" Rafael asked.  
"Yeah, this is fine," Olivia stated. She turned the baby monitor on and sighed. The city lights through the bedroom allowed Rafael to see her face. He was smiling at her.

"Hey, whatever you need, okay," Rafael stated.

"Yeah, thanks." Olivia stated.

She pushed close to him perfectly knowing it was Rafael but acting like Brian was in bed instead, and kissed his lips lightly saying.  
"Goodnight."

Rafael was shocked by the spark that ignited was something he couldn't describe.

"Liv?" Rafael asked.

"I know, I'm sorry," Olivia stated.

"Don't be." Rafael stated, he found the courage to kiss her back.

Olivia sighed in pleasure.

Olivia was touching him now, her fingertip moving up and down his arms.

"Hey, let's not rush this Liv, get some sleep I'll be here," Rafael promised.

"Yeah, okay." Olivia stated.

He wrapped his arms around her, Olivia and Rafael drifted to sleep, and Noah didn't wake up until Olivia's alarm went off at 6 am. Olivia got out of bed, grabbing Noah and sitting him in a highchair with snacks, the boy gobbling them up until she opened some real food for him. Rafael came in a few minutes later.

"Sleep okay?" Rafael asked.

"Yes, best sleep in weeks," Olivia admitted.

"Then, I guess I need to come over every night," Rafael stated.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Barba," Olivia stated.

Rafael laughed. He went over to her, holding her in his arms and giving a light kiss on her lips.

"I don't intend to, say the word Liv, I'm yours," Rafael stated.


	13. Send Her My Love

Send Her My Love – Journey – This is going to be an E/O I'm making this very current season 21. I think this may be my longest one on here so far. I hope you enjoy love the reviews.

Fin found himself at the New York State Police Conference. It was a way to get credits for training that the department required. Olivia had tried to go this year, but Fin had luckily talked her out of it once again, allowing him to go. Elliot Stabler was always at this thing and had been since "he retired" from the force. He did retire from the New York City Police Department, but he moved on as a cold case detective for the state. Fin saw him there a few months after he left SVU, and this conference was the only time the two men talked for the whole year. Fin hated how Elliot left and made sure Elliot knew when he saw him there the first time. Since then, though, it was nice to have a familiar face and a way to catch up with the man. He never did tell Olivia that he had run into him even though Elliot had begged him to do so. Fin couldn't ever find the right time and in a way, felt like he was betraying her.

It was the first night of the conference it started with an open bar and guest speaker, and Fin instantly saw Elliot in the middle left of the seating area, and he sat beside him. He had 20 minutes until the speaker began.

"How are you holding up?" Elliot asked.

"Liv's the only reason I haven't left yet." Fin admitted.

"Yeah?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, man we got this young thing, and I remember being exactly like her, and now I feel older than when Munch left." Fin stated.

"You're not quite there yet." Elliot pointed out.

"I know man but the new girl, Tamin, reminds me a lot of Liv when she first started." Fin mentioned.

Elliot smiled.

"How is she doing?" Elliot asked.

"All things considering, Simon just died, she is holding it together pretty well." Fin stated.

"Wow, are you sure she's okay?" Elliot asked.

"Well, you know how she is, she would never admit otherwise." Fin stated.

"How's Noah?" Elliot asked.

"He's good, he's healthy, taking up dance, Hip Hop is his favorite." Fin stated.

"God, it's been so long since I've seen her," Elliott stated.

"You know she hadn't seen Simon in over five years and had welcomed him back, hesitantly, but she did." Fin stated.

"Yeah, and next to the year will be a decade, ten years Fin, she doesn't want to see me." Elliot stated.

"Dude, she has every right to deny you that." Fin stated.

"I know that's why I'm not, why I'm not around. For all, she knows Kathy, and I are living our best lives with the kids, with Eli." Elliot stated.

"I haven't said nothing to her about anything Stabler, so for all she knows, you're as happy as a clam." Fin stated.

"It's best to keep it that way," Elliot stated.

Fin agreed with him.

It was only about 2 minutes until the guest speaker was to come out, someone neither Fin or Eliott had heard of when Fin notices someone sit down.

"Kat?" Fin quickly stated.

"Hey yeah, I was already scheduled to be here before my transfer and Olivia told me not to waste it, I'm due for some hours." Kat explained.

"I take it you know this guy?" Kat asked Fin.

"Elliot Stabler, New York State Detective." Elliott stated.

"I've seen your name on some cold cases," Kat stated.

"You worked with our boss Olivia," Kat stated.

"Yeah, listen, don't tell her you ran into me, okay," Elliot stated.

"Not a problem." Kat stated, confused, but the speaker came up, and they all listened or pretended to for the next 2 hours.

After the speaker was doing it, the three of them headed to the bar, and Fin and Elliot watched in amazement as Kat quickly drank them under the table with seemingly no effect of the two beers and four shots she had.

"Are you sure you're not related to Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Why to remind you of old times," Kat asked.

"Something like that," Elliot smirked.

It was now pushing at 11 pm.

"I have a date tonight, I need to get ready. I will see you guys in the morning." Kat stated.

"You have a date at what midnight?" Fin asked.

"Actually, 12:30, but yeah, and it's at least 45 minutes into the city." Kat mentioned.

Both men shook their head.

"To be young again," Elliot stated.

"She makes me feel like I should just go dig a grave." Fin stated.

Kathleen's about her age, but I don't even think in her early 20s she was like that." Elliot mentioned.

"Who knows, all I know is that kid is going to be showing me up sooner rather than later." Fin stated.

"You know that being fresh will bite her in the ass soon enough," Elliot stated.

"She's good, really good, I'm just afraid when something does happen, it's going to be bad." Fin stated.

They both sipped one last drink together, and as they were taking the elevator up, Kat was coming down.

She was dressed in a short blue dress and had a clutch in her hands her make up was completely different, with dark liner and dark blush. She looked ready for a night on the town.

"Be careful." Elliot stated.

Kat rolled her eyes, "I'll see you at 8 am for the morning keynote speaker."

Fin and Elliot nodded, each pressed the button of the floor they were on and went their separate ways.

The next morning, Elliot and Fin are downstairs early for breakfast. They sit together.

"See Kat yet?" Elliot asked.

"No." Fin stated.

"How hungover do you think she'll be?" Elliot asked.

"No idea, she's brand new." Fin stated.

"Hey, Fin, Elliot!" Kat stated as she plunked down with a bagel in 1 hand and a huge coffee in the other.

Elliot raised his eyebrows.

"So when did you get in this morning?" Fin asked curiously.

"Oh around 4:30ish." Kat said.

"Date go well?" Elliot asked.

"I've had worse," Kat claimed.

She sipped on her coffee.

"So last night, you asked me not to tell our boss I bumped into you, what's the problem?" Kat asked.

"I was her partner for 12 years and left without a goodbye." Elliott admitted.

"She was hurt for months." Fin stated but looked directly at Elliott instead of Kat.

"So fix it." Kat stated.

"It was almost Ten years ago." Elliott stated.

"And?" Kat asked.

"You just don't walk up to someone after 9.5 years and say hey, let's talk," Elliot stated.

"I didn't say, that. Send her a card or flowers with your number, give her a chance to reach out, if she doesn't, then that's when you poke around." Kat stated.

"No, there is no reason for you to bring up old shit." Fin stated.

"I'm not disagreeing with you, Fin." Elliot stated.

"I am, if you're that insecure then there was more of problem then you just not saying goodbye." Kat stated, with that, she got up left the table, and went over to a younger group of police that she seemed to know and started a conversation.

"See what I mean inexperienced, she doesn't understand." Fin stated.

Elliot just nodded but was still thinking about what Kat said earlier.

The day went on Fin and Elliot sat in a few of the same sessions. Kat an Elliot had one by themself.

They had some type of exercise they were supposed to be done in pairs, with someone they didn't work with. Instead of the training Kat went into detective mode.

"So why did you leave without saying goodbye, she do something to you?" Kat asked.

Elliot scoffed.

"You wouldn't understand," Elliot stated.

"I find that ageism is becoming a problem, rather quickly," Kat stated.

Elliot just looked at her.

"Just because I'm young doesn't mean I'm naive. Come on, explain it to me." Kat stated.

"I, we, we got to close," Elliot stated.

"Oh, I heard she dated a lot of coworkers," Kat stated.

"No, it wasn't like that. I mean, I was married, and it was complicated, and I chose her over everything every time." Elliot explained.

"So you cared for her, that's sort of what partners do," Kat stated.

"No, I cared for her above the law, I would do anything for her and did everything for her, and I don't regret it, and that's why I left. I shot and killed a girl to make sure she was safe." Elliot explained.

"So you thought that by leaving, you were putting balance back into the department, and you thought by just walking away and leaving that she would just, what move on?" Kat asked.

"Broken hearts mend." Elliot.

"Yeah, and leave a scar," Kat stated.

Elliot sighed.

"You're right," Elliot stated.

"I went to say goodbye after I put in my papers, I knew she was asking about me, I went back to clear my desk, to talk to her, but she had gone to lunch. I saw her at the cafe, and she was in the corner crying, and I knew it was because of me. I couldn't face it." Elliot explained.

"She called me, and all I could think was how I broke her heart, and if I didn't answer, the wound would heal faster."

"You're an idiot," Kat stated.

"I've been told." Elliot smiled.

"I've changed my mind, tell her you saw me, send her my love," Elliot stated.

"No, you can do that yourself," Kat stated.

"No, it's too late," Elliot stated.

"Is it, because it sounds like you're not over her, you're single unless you lost your wedding band a long time ago and your wife doesn't care you don't wear it," Kat stated.

"No, you're right Kathy and split about eight years ago." Elliot admitted.

"Like you said, it was never like that anyway, so just let her know you're thinking about her," Kat stated.

Elliot blushed at the comment, knowing he had been caught.

"I don't have her number," Elliot admitted.

"You know where she works," Kat commented.

"I could never be enough for her," Elliot stated.

"Why don't you let her decide that?" kat asked.

Elliot nodded his head.

"So, she's not seeing anyone?" Elliot asked. 

"That would be a question for Fin, but I don't think so," Kat stated.

The session ended, and Kat went back to the younger group of cops Elliot and Fin had seen her with that morning, and the rest of the day went on until dinner when Kat once again joined Elliot and Fin.

"Fuck!" She shouted as she looked at her phone.

Elliot and Fin just looked at her.

"The DNA on the Aaron's case isn't the match with the ID she made." Kat explained.

Fin closed his eyes for a second.

"So why did she ID him?" Fin asked.

"Maybe he watched?" Kat stated.

"No, I don't think so. Maybe he wasn't playin' us." Fin stated.

"I don't know she seemed pretty sure she saw him that night," Kat stated.

"Maybe wrong place wrong time." Fin stated.

"Well apparently." Kat stated.

"Damn, I thought it would be an open and shut." Kat stated.

"We tend not to get so lucky like you guys did in Vice." Fin explained.

"Oh, Vice? How was it over there?" Elliot asked.

"Lots of undercover work," Kat stated.

"Yeah, she helped bring down Moore." Fin stated proudly.

"What a creep." Elliot stated.

Fin and Kat both nodded.

The rest of the conference, Kat gained insight, but Fin and Elliot both gained insight on Kat too. Kat allowed Fin to drive her home after the three days of the conference ended. They were both expected back in the office the following morning.

"Hey, I know you, and I have differing opinions, but for Liv's sake, Elliot needs to stay in the past." Fin stated.

"I don't know why both of you think it's your choice to make," Kat said angerly.

"Listen Liv's had it rough, but also has a lot of good come out of Elliot leaving." Fin stated. 

"You remember a few weeks back when Rollins and Carasi went off on each other?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, of course," Kat stated.

"Imagine that every other week at least but 2-3 times worse. It got so bad. There were bets when Liv was going to slap him in the face or break his nose." Fin laughed.

"Did it ever happen?" Kat asked.

"Liv's better than that." Fin stated.

Kat just nodded.

"He said, "to send her my love," Kat explained.

"Yeah, he can do that himself." Fin stated,

"That's what I told him," Kat said.

Fin's face dropped, not sure if the young woman talked Elliot into it or not and didn't say anything the rest of the way to her apartment building.

"I'll see you in the morning." Fin stated.

Olivia got off the elevator and saw a large bouquet of her favorite flowers, and the uniformed officer said they were just dropped off for her.

She knew they had to be from someone who knew her well. They were all her favorites, with a silk rose in the middle.

"I'm idiot, sending all my love, El 555-316-7458."

Olivia dropped the card.

"Is everything alright, Captain?" The officer asked.

"Yeah, it's fine," Olivia stated.

With shaking hands she grabbed the large vase and took to her office, sitting it to the far left corner of her desk so she could see through the door and window. She closed her door and shut her blinds. She had tears streaming down her face, another ghost from her past resurfacing, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to say goodbye to him. She took a deep breath and started to dial the phone.


	14. All I Ask

All I ask- Adele

Olivia and Rafael had been seeing each other on and off friends with benefits of sorts. They had only slept together a handful of times. Once when she and Brian broke up. Once after a case about two months after that. Then he had a relationship he wanted to be exclusive with, and they fell back into a familiar friendship, three months later the woman that occupied Rafael's heart left, and Olivia went to bed with him a few days later. Neither date and they are regularly are with each other but refuse to call it what it is, even to each other. Olivia wasn't sure why but when Ed Tucker asks her on a date, she agrees, and for a year, Olivia and Rafael easily faze back into being friends. The sex was good, and Olivia had to admit he missed him next to her, but Ed was committed, and when Rafael outs them, she feels betrayed and pushes back towards Ed even more. When Ed finally realized that although Olivia wants the relationship, her hearts not in it, and they say goodbye. That same night Olivia is begging Rafael to come to her, and like a good friend, he complies.

She wants to take the next step, she wants to make it official but neither discuss anything and isn't until he's on the stand for a murder she realizes how much she wants him, but they've talked she already knows that if he's not guilty, he's leaving, his name smeared, his heart crushed. He is done with the city that never sleeps, and in return is done with her.

The "not guilty" verdict is read, and Olivia is extremely happy for her best friend, her lover, but dread quickly comes knowing he is ready to move on.

That night Olivia knocks on his apartment door.

Rafael looked at her and hugged her, holding her close and letting her in.

"I'm leaving next week. I put my notice in," Rafael says quickly.

"I know." Olivia claimed.

That night they fall in bed, but it's different, longing fearful knowing that more than likely after next week, they will part ways. For the next week Rafael and Olivia go to each other's door, back and forth like a moth to the light. She is pulling every second she can with him, and he is doing the same.

It was the night before Rafael's flight, he still never told Olivia what he was doing, and she stopped questioning him 3-4 days ago.

Olivia had made it to his door at 6 pm.

"I know this is goodbye," Olivia stated, refusing to cry, refusing to give in to the emotion that overtook her.

Rafael firmly nodded.

"Let's just act like tomorrow. I will see you in the squad room ready to give me a warrant," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, of course," Rafael said.

He stepped back, wanting to drink in all Olivia Benson one more time. She smiled at him, knowing that they both wanted to remember everything they could of each other. She slowly pulled off his shirt, and he pulled off her blazer, they were slowly undressing each other doing everything in slow motion as if time would stop for them, but the minutes kept ticking by.

Olivia watched as his eyes looked lovingly over her, she knew, and he knew they never said the words, but they could read each other like no one else. She knew this was killing him, and she felt her heart shattering as he grabbed her hands. She refused to bend and followed him to the bedroom.

Rafael traced over Olivia's naked body, using his whole hands at times, trying to memorize her body. Olivia was doing the same. They were holding each other tightly at times, but still, not one word was spoken. Olivia had no idea how much time had passed, but Rafael was on top of her, his eyes asking permission, and she nodded, allowing him to enter her.

This felt so different, so needy than any other time, it felt like love, it felt like need and most importantly, it felt like home, that she was saying goodbye to.

When they were ready to fall asleep, Olivia said.

"I know this what you need to do, thank you for ending it this way, I don't know if I'll ever…."

"Shh Liv, I know," Rafael stated.

He held her as he would never let her go, knowing in the morning he was doing precisely that.


	15. A Long Time Ago

A Long Time Ago – First Aid Kit.

This one features Casey, as Olivia, discloses her feeling about Elliot to Casey. No happy ending here, but an understanding. Sort of E/O.

Olivia thought in her heart that when Elliot said goodbye to Kathy that there was a small chance, he was saying hello to her. That didn't happen, though. The relationship felt more intense than ever. The brushes and touches of skin allowed her to feel the sparks, and she knew he did too. The look in his eyes, the sharp intake of breath by both of them, explained it all, but she refused to make the first move. He didn't budge either. When Olivia heard Elliot claim that Kathy was pregnant and they were back together, she knew that she had lost him yet again.

When Elliot told Olivia, the news she said she was happy. He saw in her eyes the pure devastation he had caused. He wanted her more than he could ever imagine, and he had months to tell her, but he couldn't risk both his life partners, so he chose the safe option. He went back with Kathy, and it wasn't that he didn't love Kathy. He did, but Olivia was his passion. He couldn't explain that, so he took the easy way out yet again.

They were working on a case when the two got into a heated argument. It was over something that didn't even matter to the case. Cragen had come out twice, warning them, and they were still were going at it.

"Can I talk to you please?" Elliot seethed.

Olivia followed him back to the cribs, and he closed and locked the door.

"What the hell is going on, I swear Liv if I told you the sky was blue you would argue and say its brown," Elliot stated.

"El, I'm not trying to start something," Olivia admitted.

"Then what is it because you've been pissed at me for weeks," Elliot stated.

"I'm not mad at you. God El, don't you get it? I'm mad at myself," Olivia admitted.

"For what? I have no idea what you're talking about," Elliot said.

"It doesn't matter, El not anymore," Olivia claimed.

"It does Liv, because I care," as Elliot reached a hand out to hers.

They both felt the spark that they had felt time and time again and Olivia wanted nothing more for him to hold her, but he wasn't hers, and never was.

"Just get out Elliot, I'm fine. I need a few minutes, okay." Olivia claimed.

Elliot nodded his head, not wanting to get her more upset.

Olivia relished the silence for a moment only to let her own thoughts get in the way.

Someone knocked on the door.

"El, I just need a minute!" Olivia yelled.

"Hey, it's just me," Casey stated.

"Liv, is everything okay?" Casey asked.

"I don't know anymore," Olivia admitted.

"What's going on, Fin told me I would find you here."

"Casey, I'm an idiot," Olivia claimed.

"I know you're a lot of things, but idiot isn't one of them whats going on?" Casey asked.

"I love him," Olivia claimed.

Casey didn't need to ask who she was talking about. Casey's face fell, as Olivia explained.

"I swear the moment I met him, we connected, even though he was an ass for a while. I don't know what came over me, and I've found myself giving up everything to spend time with him," Olivia explained.

"Well, he and Kathy are divorced, why don't you tell him?" Casey asked.

"Kathy's pregnant," Olivia admitted.

"You know before him, I was just happy and free to see any man I wanted any time I wanted. Then every time I was with him even if it was drinking with the guys, if I so much as batted my eye at another guy, he was all over it," Olivia claimed.

"He is rather protective of you," Casey admitted.

"I can't blame him. I have a terrible taste in men." Olivia sighed.

"Stop that, you just haven't found the right one," Casey claimed

"When he told me that Kathy left him, I was sad for him but relieved that we might finally have a chance, you know. He asked me to dinner, not a date but to dinner, and I turned him down because I knew I couldn't give him what Kathy could. He was so heartbroken I just wanted him to get back with her so he would be happy again. I didn't even care about how I felt," Olivia claimed.

"You do love him," Casey said out loud.

"I'm always the one who is there for him, he doesn't want to bring this home to Kathy and the kids, and I get that, but I am his sounding board for work, for home, for his kids, and I feel like I should mean more to him, than I do," Olivia claimed.

"Liv, is he back with her for sure?" Casey asked.

"Yeah." Olivia sighed.

"Isn't that what you wanted?" Casey asked.

"Only because I thought it would make him happy," Olivia claimed.

"Are you mad that he's back with Kathy," Casey asked.

"No, I just want him to know what I am sacrificing." Olivia claimed.

Casey sighed.

"Listen, if that's what is happening, and you're not going to intervene, then you need to get over it because nothing is going to change." Casey explained.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks, Case, I've got my head screwed back right for the time being," Olivia stated.

"What is it that you need?" Olivia asked.

"I was coming to see if you wanted to take a lunch," Casey laughed.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Olivia stated.

Olivia and Casey ignore the words that came out of Olivia's mouth earlier in the day and talk about any other subject for the next 30 minutes at Bea's dinner one block from the department. When she comes back into the office, Elliot looks up at her. She has her smile again. She looks refreshed somehow, but he's not clear what has changed.

"Are we okay?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah listen El, I'm sorry I realized I lost this fight a while ago, and I just didn't want to admit it," Olivia claimed.

Elliot wasn't sure exactly what she was talking about but was just glad to see a smile on her face, so he accepted it with a smiled and a head nod. Olivia sat down, watching the man he loved knowing she would never be his and carried on with the case at hand.


	16. Treat You Better

Treat You Better- Shawn Mendes  
So this is ultimately R/O right after Rafael finds out that Olivia is dating Tucker. ( I really never liked the Tucker pairing I don't understand it at all! It was a horrible idea and the way she ends it with him, being so carefree about it, I don't know. I heard spoilers he will be back this season, but no details were given, we'll see.)

Rafael just looked at Olivia, who was sitting in his office. There was a case they were supposed to be talking about, but Olivia was too pissed at the moment after she found Rafael had disclosed their relationship.

"I'm sorry, Liv," Rafael said.

"No, you're not, and you shouldn't be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, and I'm sorry about how you found out. I know that we're friends outside of work, and I blindsided you. It's just honestly I didn't think there was much to disclose" Olivia claimed

"You've been with him for how many months?" Rafael asked.

"That's not the point, Rafa," Olivia stated.

"Fine, I'm not mad, Liv I'm just kinda surprised," Rafael admitted.

"I know I'm sorry," Olivia claimed once again.

Rafael quickly moved on to the court hearing at hand, and the two of them promptly fell into an old banner and were friendly. Nothing was awkward. It felt normal and at ease. They spent a few hours going over the case, and Olivia had to admit even though it was work, she always felt good when she was working with Rafael.

A few weeks had passed by, Olivia was still with Tucker and now that everyone knew Amanda was the one who reached out to Ed making sure he knew that he was also welcome with the squad when they went to get drinks. So here they were, Olivia, Sonny, Amanda, Fin, Rafael and Ed sitting at a table together, they were talking about their first-ever arrests, and Rafael had talked about the first court hearing he had ever had. They all had a few drinks in them, but Rafael could clearly tell that Ed Tucker was looking at some girl at the bar. Rafael sighed, not knowing how Ed could take his eyes off Olivia Benson. He looked over at Olivia, who knew all too well what Ed was doing, but she smiled at Rafael none the less and raised her beer towards him, everyone else lost in the moment.

It was a few days later, and Olivia was in Rafael's office about to go over another case.

"So Liv, are you and Ed, serious?" Rafael asked.

"Rafa, do we really have to discuss this?" Olivia asked.

"I'm asking because the bar the other night, I saw that look," Rafael admitted

"He's trying," Olivia claimed.

"Should he have too?" Rafael asked.

"I don't know," Olivia admitted.

"Is he right for you?" Rafael asked.

Olivia ignored the question and started going over case notes.

Ed had called about five times, Olivia never picked it up.

Finally, after her, the phone buzzed for the 8th time Raphael insisted she picked it up.

"Just answer the phone, Liv," Rafael stated.

She sighed  
"No Ed, I can't right now, I'm with Rafa working on a case," Olivia explained.

"Ed, stop it!" She said angerly.

"Not tonight," Olivia claimed.

"I gotta go bye," Olivia said as she hung up the phone.

"I don't want to talk about it." Olivia immediately said.

"Why are you wasting your time with him?" Rafael asked.

"I said I don't want to talk about drop it!" Olivia demanded.

Rafael shut his mouth and changed the subject back to the case.  
The case took longer than she thought and she sighed when she looked at the time  
"I told Noah I would be home early tonight." Olivia sighed.  
"Hey, you still can be, this paper moves to where ever you need it too," Rafael claimed  
"Rafa?" Olivia asked  
"Of course, let me pack up, and we can finish this after dinner, maybe?" Rafael hinted/p  
Olivia laughed, yeah, that sounds good  
Olivia and Rafael made it back to her apartment, Noah was happy to see his mom as well as "uncle Rafa" Rafael was playing with the little boy, as Olivia ordered in pizza. About 20 minutes later there was a knock on the door, but it wasn't pizza it was Ed  
"Hey, I told you I couldn't do anything tonight," Olivia stated  
"Yet here you are home," Ed claimed  
"Yeah, with Noah, I haven't seen him all week," Olivia claimed  
"Look, Olivia, I'm sorry." Ed started. Then he heard Noah laughing and heard him say, "Again uncle Rafa."  
Olivia closed her eyes  
"So, you're blowing me off for Barba?" Ed asked  
"No, Ed, we have a case to go over, and instead of staying locked up in his office for two more hours, he offered to come over so I could be with Noah," Olivia said angerly  
"Liv, I get that Noah comes first, but can't we just once go out and not have to worry about him?" Ed asked  
"Ed, I can't deal with this right now. You need to go. I'll talk to you tomorrow."  
Olivia didn't slam the door, but she didn't close back in typical fashion either  
Rafael noticed  
"Is everything okay, Liv?" Rafael asked  
"Yeah, it's fine," Olivia claimed and wiped the tear threatening to fall. Rafael noticed the gesture  
Noah had run off to his room to play with something, and Rafael grabbed Olivia's hand  
"You deserve better Liv," Rafael confessed  
"I don't like him Liv, let me in," Rafael stated  
Olivia didn't flinch away and kept her hand in his. Rafael pulled Olivia into his arms and kissed her. He held her for what felt like forever before Noah came out, asking Rafael to play trucks with him. There was a knock on the door again, and this time it was the pizza  
The 3 of them ate, and Olivia went to lay Noah down  
"Liv, I can treat you better," Rafael claimed  
"I know Rafa," Olivia stated, once again she leaned into him, and she kissed him again, allowing him to hold her on the couch and snuggle up with each other forgetting about the case that was laid out in front of them


	17. Stay

Stay - Zedd

This is another R/O basically this can take place at any time throughout the show while Rafael is there.

June 2nd

Olivia and Rafael are talking about a new law going into effect that could change all their cases, and Rafael and Olivia are arguing what it would mean. Although they weren't mad at each other, both are upset by a bill that leads them into an argument about it. Olivia knew they didn't see eye to eye, even though they both disagreed with it.

"I'm just gonna go," Olivia claimed.

"No, don't I don't want to fight over this." Rafael claimed, but Olivia had already made it out the door.

June 12th

Olivia and Rafael are going over a case, they were in his office it was well past business hours she knew a few people lingered, but most of the staff had gotten out of there earlier in the day. The case they had was a strong one, and Olivia and Rafael were both ecstatic that he had an angle he felt that was sure to win the jury over.

"You want to come back to my place and celebrate?" Olivia asked.

She hadn't meant it as more than a few friendly drinks, and she knows that Raphael knew that as well, but he denied her, and she sighed. They walked down to the streets, going opposite directions.

June 20th

The verdict was in, and Rafael won. The jury found the man guilty on all charges, and the whole team went out to celebrate with Rafael. They were happily drinking, giving cheers that the rapist would be going away for a long time, and they all got talking. Amanda had noticed the back and forth glances between Olivia and Rafael, and she smirked. She was closer to Rafael than Olivia and her slightly drunken state, she whispered.

"You waiting to change your mind?" She then moved her eyes over towards Olivia.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Rollins," Rafael said, cooly then finished his glass in one quick drink.

Amanda laughed at his behavior.

July 3rd

SVU caught a big case, and just as Rafael was about to spend his 4th of July on a Yacht. The ship had sailed, and he was now stuck in the city, working the case with Olivia and the rest of the squad. It was getting late, and there wasn't much more they could do for the day. Olivia sent everyone home at 9 pm, insisting they get some rest. Rafael waited on her.

"I'm sorry you missed your trip. If you want to, you can hang out at my place. I have free alcohol there." Olivia laughed.

"I would enjoy that Liv, but I'm gonna go home," Rafael stated.

"Okay, I'll be here tomorrow," Olivia claimed.

"Call me if you get a suspect," Rafael claimed.

"I will, good night Rafa." Olivia claimed.

"Goodnight Liv." Rafael stated.

July 4th

Olivia and the squad were no closer to suspect, and with no one in the labs or TARU or anywhere else, she once again sent everyone home that afternoon knowing without the help they wouldn't be able to get any further in the case.

Olivia had sat in her office alone. She had nowhere to be and had some paperwork to catch up on.

Rafael had surprised her at 4:30 walking through the elevators noticing no one was there.

"In here," she called.

"Hey, why are you alone?" Rafael asked.

"We couldn't move forward with the holiday I am working on my backlog of paperwork," Olivia claimed.

"Besides if I am here late enough, there is a great view of fireworks from the rooftop." Olivia claimed.

"If we didn't get this case, I'd be in the Hudson on a boat enjoying them from there," Rafael claimed.

"It won't be the same, but you're welcome to join me here on the rooftop." Olivia claimed.

"I don't know Liv." Rafael stated.

"Just stay." Olivia pleaded.

"I don't know I usually celebrate by myself." Rafael stated.

"Come on, just stay for a few minutes if you don't like it we can leave," Olivia claimed.

"That's hours from now, Liv." Rafael pointed out.

"Alright we'll go get some dinner, and maybe have a few drinks come back here." Olivia claimed.

"That sounds good," Rafael admitted.

"Great, let me finish up. Olivia looked at her stack of work. It should only be about an hour, do you want to wait, or do you want to meet up?" Olivia asked.

"Let's just meet at Gilly's," Rafael claimed.

Olivia shook her head and got back to work.

When she was done, it was later than she thought and was sprinting to make it on time. The two enjoyed their meal talking, smiling, forgetting about work, and talking about life in general. The two were happy to be together. Olivia was excited that he was engaging her for once, and they spent a few hours there before heading back to the precinct to see the firework display.

Olivia went to the cribs and grabbed a hoodie she kept and found another zip she was sure Rafael could wear.

She handed the zip up to Rafael. He was surprised but thankful knowing that even in the summer, the air could be cold, especially who knows how many stories up into the air.

Rafael had never been up on the roof. When he looked around, he expected something more, he wasn't sure why, but Olivia had smiled and led him over to the spot she said was ideal for glimpses of fireworks. The darkness overcame the light, and soon enough bright colors flooded the sky, reds, and blues, with the whites of the occasional green and other more exotic colors such as pink and yellow lit up the sky all around them, Rafael had never seen so much gun powder in the air at once, and the smell was intoxicating and he was lost in the brightness and noise as what felt like thousands of fireworks went off all around him.

"This is a beautiful view Liv," Rafael admitted.

She smiled and shook her head, looking all around, and for the next hour, they were in awe of the show in the sky. When the noise and brightness died off Olivia grabbed his hand, showing him back to the roof door.

"You want to come over to my place for a minute?" Olivia asked.

"No, I have to be in early, maybe another time," Rafael asked.

"Yeah, of course." Olivia agreed.

Olivia knew she shouldn't be mad; she had blown him off hundreds of times. She knew it had nothing to do with her, or at least she didn't think it did. She walked home and went to sleep alone once again.

July 8th

The squad had finally got a confession and a plea deal for the latest case, they were all relieved that it was closed. Rafael had told the team how good of a job they did and was about to head out the door.

"Stay for lunch?" Olivia asked.

"Sorry, maybe dinner?" Rafael suggests.

Olivia nodded.

Dinner was never had by the 2 of them. Rafael's mother had begged the man to come over, and if Rafael had to admit it, he hadn't seen his mom and over a month and owed her the time. Olivia understood and went home, grabbing a frozen pizza and a bottle of wine before heading to bed for the night.

July 17th

It was a Friday, and for once, the squad-room wasn't busy. Rafael had been working on a case to go trial and wanted to go over it with Olivia.

"Meet me at my place?" Olivia asked.

Rafael agreed and knocked at her door right at 5 pm.

"Hey," Olivia stated.

Olivia was already dressed down in a t-shirt and yoga pants. Rafael, on the

other hand, was still in a suit and tie.

"I feel overdressed," Rafael claimed.

"Well I can fix that, I'm sure I have sweat pants and a t-shirt that would make you fit right in," Olivia claimed.

Rafael felt his face turn red.

"You know what? I'd like that." Rafael claimed.

Olivia walked back to her bedroom and came back a few minutes later, with the needed items. Rafael goes to the bathroom to change, not overthinking the fact he was changing into Olivia's clothing.

"Better?" Olivia asked.

"Much." Rafael laughed.

They sat on the couch closer than usual but still comfortable and began going over case details.

Rafael didn't realize how tired he was, and when they took a break, he had fallen asleep after eating a cheese pizza they had ordered. Olivia sighed, not wanting to wake him, and knowing they were almost done anyways, she covered him up. She cleaned up the pizza. She picked up in the kitchen and folded some laundry. It was getting late.

"Rafa, hey Rafa, we need to finish this." Olivia claimed.

Rafael's eyes opened wide not knowing where he was but he looked around he was in Olivia's living room.

"How long was I out?" Rafael asked.

"About 2 hours." Olivia claimed.

"I'm sorry Liv."

"Don't be let's finish this up," Olivia claimed.

Rafael shook his head, and they went back to work. Everything was done a little over an hour later.

Rafael picked up his stuff.

"Stay?" Olivia asked.

"Liv.." Rafael claimed.

"Please?" she asked, and set down a bottle of rum and two cans of Coke of 2 glasses.

Rafael sighed and agreed to a few drinks. The two of them got so deep into discussion, the Rum and Coke sat forgotten, stories of their childhood for better or worse coming out of their mouths and sometimes they were laughing other times they were rubbing each other's shoulders in sympathy. It was so late it was early. The sun was peaking up.

Olivia and Rafael noticed.

"What time do you have to be in?" Olivia asked.

"I can get my schedule cleared." Rafael yawned.

"Me too." Olivia claimed.

"Stay with me?" Olivia asked.

"Liv." Rafael groaned.

"Just to sleep," Olivia indicated.

Rafael nodded.

Olivia grabbed his hand and led him to the bedroom, they both get under the covers, and Olivia wants nothing more than his warmth. He wraps his arms around her.

"This okay?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah, this is fine," Olivia claimed as she yawned, allowing sleep to take over.

September 28th

"Stay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah of course." Rafael claimed as she kisses her lips, they are intertwined on the couch.

"When did it get so easy for you to say yes?" Olivia asked.

"Probably after the first time, I said yes, and you let me sleep with you," Rafael stated.

Olivia smacked him playfully.

"I knew the moment I said yes this is how we'd end up, and I wasn't sure I was ready for that before," Rafael admitted.

"I'm glad you are now," Olivia claimed.

Rafael smiled as he took her lips in his once again.


	18. Ordinary People

Ordinary People - John Legend

A/N: This is an E/O I know a rarity, I was going to make it R/O but I really need some more E/O love. Also, I will be working on requests soon. I just had a whole song list and have been writing here and there when inspiration strikes, so if you request a song it might take me a while for a storyline for it.

Olivia closed her eyes, imagining that Elliot Stabler was still in her apartment. He and Kathy had filed for divorce, and of course, he was upset, but Elliot admitted that he was excited about what awaited him. He gave a not so subtle hint at Olivia that he wanted them to be together. She wanted it too. She wanted nothing more for him to lay down beside her. At the same time, even if love was part of the equation, her relationships always crumbled. She sighed, not sure what was going on only that he wanted to "take it slow." Olivia thought that after so many years of being partners, slow was merely figurative.

Olivia had thought back, this wasn't like other relationships. He was her best friend. He had heard of the awful dates; he knew about her mother. She had seen him almost naked, and he had seen her the same way. There would be no awkward first date. Would she want this though, they fight enough at work what about home? Maybe work fights were because they didn't have home fights, but she wasn't sure of anything anymore.

If Elliot would have told her he loved her even when he was married she would have believed him, she has loved him for far too long, and although she had always wanted something more, the love she had for him wasn't a romantic love. It was the love you had for a best friend, and although she always wanted to be more, the love they shared had to be enough, now she wasn't sure what to think of this.

There was a knock on her door that made her jump, she wasn't expecting anyone, but that knock sounded a lot like Elliot's.

Olivia looked through the peephole to find him standing at her door. She opened the door with a smile.

"Hey," Olivia stated.

"Hey, I thought a lot about earlier, and I just wanted to talk some more," Elliott claimed.

Olivia let him come through the door. They sat on the sofa closer than normal arms touching, but nothing was said.

"I know you're nervous about us, and this. I want you to know I've wanted this for a long time, and I don't want you to think this is one-sided. I know we have a lot of differences, but I know we put each other first. I know that we care for each other, and I want this." Elliot stated.

"You're right El, we do have a lot of differences, but we have in common that we want to work on this. I know we've had our moments, and I have to admit I know we've gotten in trouble a time or two because of me." Olivia admitted.

"I don't know what will end up happening Liv, but we need to try. I know we'll fight, I know we'll get up and walk away sometimes. I don't believe in forever anymore, but I want to try this with you." Elliot stated.

Olivia nodded her head, Elliot looked in her eyes, and they kissed, there first real kiss, and she smiled. He couldn't help but run his fingers up and down her sides and smile when she shivered in delight.

She smirked at him. "What happened to take it slow?" Olivia asked.

"This is as slow as I can go," Elliot claimed as he captured her lips, and roamed her body with his hands.


	19. Something Just Like This

A/N: Hey guys it feels like it's been a bit, I've been caught up reading other fanfics, I've been so caught up in it I haven't been writing as much. Thanks for all your continued support and reviews. IF you like this and haven't been reading Moving Along, I suggest it lol. I have other stories, too, if you're interested.

Something Just Like This- The Chain Smokers and Coldplay R/O

Olivia closed her eyes as she walked through the door of her apartment. She wasn't sure when going out to dinner with Rafael Barba had turned into a date, but it had. They had been out plenty of times before, as friends, but today it felt different. She wasn't sure what changed, maybe it was the fact that there was no reason to go out. Usually, their dinners involved work discussion, but there was no need to go out tonight. She had simply agreed to meet him at Prime. Olivia still had work clothes on when she walked in as did he. They didn't bring up a case. They discussed family, friends, and most importantly, they discussed failed dates they both recently went on. Olivia found herself easily talking about her last date with Kevin Linger.

She had met Kevin in her apartment building, he was sweet and kind, and they had a few conversations before he asked her out. He was kind enough, but as soon as she mentioned, she was a cop, the date was over. Olivia saw it in his eyes the instant she said what she did for a living. Rafael had explained his date with Laura Williams. Unlike her date, she already knew what Rafael did, and didn't hold it against him. Laura's issue was the fact that he refused to take her to Michelle's the most overpriced restaurant in the city for their first date. Needless to say, she was in it for the money, even though Rafael Barba didn't make much as an ADA.

"So we're no good in the love department, tell me Liv, have you ever been in love?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah, a few times," Olivia admitted.

"I can't imagine anyone saying no to you, what happened?" Rafael asked.

Olivia thought that she would be embarrassed by the question, but the words came out as she was writing in a journal no one else would ever see.

"Well I can honestly say that everyone I have ever truly loved wasn't on the same page of music as me. Not saying they didn't return the love, it was just that we were always at different points in our lives. The first time I was in love, it was with a much older man. The second time, I didn't want to admit I was in love. The third time I was ready to settle down, and he wasn't." Olivia explained."

"And you?" Olivia asked.

"Honestly, I can say twice I have been in love," Rafael explained.

"The first time, she liked me a lot, but there was some outside pressure that deterred her, and I can't honestly say she loved me back. The 2nd person I never told, too afraid of the repercussions." Rafael admitted staring into her eyes.

"Sorry, you lost out that second time, you should have told her, the worst she could have said was no," Olivia stated.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Rafael claims

Olivia noticed the wording was present day, and Rafael Barba never misspoke.

She smiled at the man.

"You need to tell her Rafa, maybe she feels the same," Olivia claimed.

"Not worth the risk of never seeing her again," Rafael mentioned.

Olivia could understand that. She nodded her head.

"So, when you're not having dinner with me, or going out on boats, or seeing something on Broadway, what are you doing?" Olivia asked.

Rafael laughed.

"You know what it's like when you're alone. I'm barely home long enough to keep the place clean if I get the time I may read something, I've written a few opinion articles for law journals. Maybe watch a superhero movie." Rafael claimed.

"And what is one Olivia Benson doing after she hangs up her gun and badge?" Rafael asks.

"Like you said, when you're single, your constantly working to keep the apartment clean, and with Noah, I will never be done. I read on occasion , usually its a children's book, and it's about 20 pages with 10 words on each page, but I can see our similarities." Olivia laughed.

"Speaking of, where is Noah tonight?" Rafael asked.

"Lucy takes him with her, to her mothers, time to time about once a month gives me a chance to catch up on laundry and deep cleaning all to have a tornado come through about 5 minutes after he comes home Sunday morning." Olivia explained.

"I know I've never raised a kid, but you're doing one hell of a job." Rafael stated.

Olivia blushed at the statement.

"I appreciate that Rafa, I still have no clue what I'm doing," Olivia admitted.

"Does anyone?" Rafael asked.

"I don't think so," Olivia answered.

The dinner continued into mindless chatter, and Olivia felt like no time on the clock had passed, but dinner was at 6pm. When they headed out towards the busy streets, it was nearing 9pm.

"Let me walk you home," Rafael stated.

"Yeah, of course." Olivia agreed.

Rafael walked her to her apartment door. She suddenly could see a flash in her mind of Rafael kissing her goodnight. She shook her head to get the thoughts out. They were friends. She told him "thank you" and stepped inside.

Olivia couldn't help but think about being with Rafael Barba, but he did mention he was in love with someone. She wondered who the lucky woman was. Anyone that Rafael could fall in love with had to be quite the woman, Olivia would love to meet her even though she was overly jealous of her.

It was Monday morning and Olivia had the whole weekend to think of the words Rafael had said to her.

Rafael had walked into her office, planning on discussing a current case. Still, before he could even get a greeting out, Olivia looked him in the eye and simply asked.

"Who is she?"

Rafael looked confused and had no idea what she was talking about.

"More context Liv." Rafael responded.

"You said you couldn't tell her, then said that's what you're afraid of." Olivia claimed.

Rafael's face turned red, and he was fanning himself.

"Why is it so hot in here?" Rafael asked.

Olivia laughed.

"Because I'm putting you in the hot seat, if it's someone you shouldn't have a relationship with, you can just tell me that too," Olivia claimed.

Rafael swallowed and shook his head. "Well, it's not forbidden, just would require disclosure, and you know reciprocation," Rafael claimed.

"Well I know Jack McCoy is pretty fair, and maybe she feels the same way, disclosure can be messy, but if she means that much to you." Olivia stated.

"Hey, Liv, can I ask you something." Rafael asked.

"Of course." Olivia stated.

"Will you go to Forloni's with me tonight?" Rafael asked.

"Can't stay too late, but I can be out of here by 5, and if we can leave thereby 6:30, I need time with Noah." Olivia explained.

"Of course, I'll meet you there." Rafael stated.

Olivia sat at their usual booth. It was a little big for just the two of them, but it was their regular spot and held so many memories. Rafael had walked in about 3 minutes after she arrived, and he didn't even look for her and went directly to the back where the booth was.

They both ordered a beer, and water, before ordering from the menu. Even though they had just seen each other Friday, they told each other about their weekend. They discussed the case that Rafael had initially gone into her office to talk to her about. Still, he kept it short and to the point just asking her opinion on the whole thing.

Their meals came out, and Rafael had said something that made her laugh. They were going on and on laughing at each other so much so that their food was almost cold before they started to eat.

After the pause to actually eat, Rafael asked Olivia a question.

"What would be your perfect date?" Rafael asked.

Olivia thought about it for a while.

"You know what, something just like this," Olivia claimed.

"Really, not I don't know, a Broadway play, or more romantic setting. You wouldn't want someone to read you poetry or come to rescue or something like that?" Rafael asked.

"First off I can save my self, I don't need someone playing superhero. I just need someone to talk to, to be with, to share my feelings. I don't need some genius, and I don't need someone who has to show off around me." Olivia claimed.

"So something just like this?" Rafael asked.

"Yeah." Olivia shook her head.

Rafael doesn't talk much after that. He once again walks her to the apartment.

This time he kisses her goodnight, passionately.

"Rafa, what are you doing?" Olivia asked.

"Well, I figured you'd want someone to kiss after your perfect date," Rafael claimed.

"Mmm, I'd would like nothing more, but go tell that girl you love. Don't run away because it will get messy." Olivia claimed.

"You don't get it," Rafael said breathlessly.

"No apparently I don't," Olivia said angerly.

Rafael kissed her again, running his tongue along her bottom lip.

"It's you Liv." Rafael stated.

Olivia allowed the kiss to deepen at those words making out against her door. She smiled at him, a euphoric haze.

"I have to go, but your Broadway idea wasn't a bad one. Let me know when we can do this again, ." Olivia whispered.

"Will do ." Rafael stated and turned down the hallway smiling to himself.


	20. Animals

Animals- Maroon 5

Okay, so this is a request, and I hope you guys like it. This is E/O.

Elliot knew better, he knew at any moment Olivia could turn around and see him. He wasn't discreet, how could he be when he was looking at the backside of Olivia Benson. They had just had a case where the perp had threatened Olivia imparticular. He said, "If I go down, you go down."

Olivia wasn't too worried, but everyone in the station took it as a credible threat. Cragen had asked Olivia to have a detail, but she refused. He was believable enough for Fin to even question if she should go home alone. Olivia sighed, they were done for the day, and Olivia headed out the door. Don looked into Elliot's eyes and nodded his head. Elliot grabbed his jacket and took off after her. He knew her routine it was Thursday night, she would walk home, maybe stopping at a coffee shop or a bar along the way. He spotted her walking down the street about ½ a block ahead, and he moved quickly to keep up with her.

Soon enough Olivia reached a bar that both he and Olivia knew well. Joe's bar and grill. Elliot didn't want to ruin her good time. He knew she would cuss him out as soon as she saw him. So like a criminal, he stalked her. He knew he should just go in explain himself but, maybe Olivia was right, and this guy was just a coward with a lot of words.

He looked through the glass to see her sitting at the bar. She was poised. She was talking to the bartender. Her smile didn't reach her eyes, but it was still beautiful. He noticed a man sit down next to her and stared intently, not caring if anyone noticed. Olivia was looking at the man smiling. This time her smile did make it to her eyes. He had said something to get her to feel this way. Elliot couldn't help but scowl.

They had been partners for years. Kathy had divorced him; it has been finalized for months. Some days he wanted to take Olivia into his arms and kiss her, hold her. He wanted nothing more than to be hers, but he knew that she would never see him like that. She held his marriage closer than he did, and he wasn't sure why that was. Olivia seemed angry when he announced the divorce was final.

They were still Elliot and Olivia, since then, but something seemed slightly off. He couldn't pin it. Maybe it was the fact he was seeing her more than a woman than a partner these days. He sighed at his thoughts and tried to focus in again on Olivia and the mystery man's conversation. He saw Olivia frown and caused him to enter the bar. He still couldn't tell what the man was saying, but Olivia was obviously discussed by the attempt.

The seat on the other side of Olivia was empty, and Elliot sat down in it. Olivia hadn't paid close attention, and when she turned back and noticed her partner beside her, every emotion played out on her face. First, she was angry, then she was sympathetic. She knew precisely why he was there, he was afraid for her.

"Hey." Elliot said simply.

"El, if I needed a baby sitter, I would have asked for one." Olivia claimed.

"I know, but I can't Olivia, I can't let you go out there when that man threatened you," Elliot claimed.

"El, do you know how many times men say crazy things to me, and not only at work. I can handle myself." Olivia claimed.

"I know but it's always better when there is someone else to have your back." Elliot mentioned.

"You're right," Olivia claimed.

"Sorry if I ruined a date," Elliot said perfectly knowing he didn't.

"Yeah well, you didn't." Olivia claimed.

"Well I guess I'll have whatever you're having." Elliot mentioned.

Olivia signaled the bartender ordering Elliot's drink. They sat there in comfortable silence, only having 2 drinks before Elliot mentioned "getting her home."

Olivia agreed, and the 2 walked side by side down the streets towards her apartment.

Olivia allowed Elliot in.

"Listen I know you're just trying to keep me safe El, but I'm gonna be fine," Olivia promised.

Elliot sighed. He didn't want to leave her just yet, and not because he thought she was danger. He honestly missed hanging out outside of work. Before the divorce, it was a semi-regular occurrence, and now Elliot couldn't think of a single time they hung out together.

"Liv can we just hang out like we used too?" Elliot asked.

Olivia frowned.

"I'm sorry El I know I haven't been the best friend you needed lately." Olivia admitted.

"I'm not blaming you, Liv, it's just we haven't talked in a long time." Elliot mentioned. He put his hand on the back of the neck, not liking where the conversation was headed.

Olivia walked over to him and pushed his hand off his neck.

"Lets watch the game," Olivia claimed.

She turned on her TV.

She grabbed chips and dip. She put chicken wings in the oven, as well as french fries, and sat on the couch next to Elliot. Olivia sat closer to him than typical needing to feel his closeness like he mentioned they hadn't really been hanging out at all since the divorce. If Olivia had to admit it to herself, it was because she was afraid of what might slip out. She knew that he loved her, to what extent she didn't know. She knows if he hadn't been married, he would have been in bed with her long ago. She didn't know if that would amount to much, but they were both too curious of one another for that not have happened.

Over the years Olivia had seen him nearly naked, she didn't have to imagine much, and nor did he. There were multiple times he had touched her, seen her nearly naked in the crib, has role played to get out of something. She knew what his hands felt like, and she can't deny she has had a few fantasies of them in her bed. She physically shook her head to get her mind away from the sexually charged thoughts and try to pay attention to the basketball game on the TV.

Elliot started the conversation, he talked about his kids, he spoke about his new apartment and how odd it felt to go from a family of 6 to a single man in a studio apartment. Olivia knew he had a lot on his mind. She put her hand on his arm and rubbed it encouraging him to continue.

"I feel like I've lost everything, Liv, and I can't lose you too." Elliot admitted.

Olivia started at the man for a long time.

"El, you're not going to lose me," Olivia stated.

"How can you say that with all these criminals, threatening to take you away from me." Elliot asked.

That's when it hit her. Everything has been going on so fast in Elliot's life, and he is afraid that something is going to change with them too.

"El, I, we're going to be just fine," Olivia claimed.

She pulls herself closer to him, and he wraps his arm around the waist and pushes her body into his needing to feel her.

"I need you Liv." Elliot claimed.

"I need you to El." Olivia replied.

The two stay cuddled next to each other, and Olivia thought for sure she would feel uncomfortable huddled up next to him. Not that she didn't want this, but after so many years of restraint and longing, she thought she would be overthinking this, but it felt good.

The game ended, and if Olivia was asked who won, she couldn't say. She was lost in thought.

Elliot didn't want to leave. This was the greatest feeling he had felt in a long time Olivia Benson in his arms wasn't something he expected tonight. He knew this was nothing more than a cuddle to show that they cared for each other, that they were there for each other.

"El?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah." Elliot said.

"Stay a while?" Olivia asked.

She knew it was already getting late, she knew he should be headed home they have work in the morning, and they would be with each other all day, but she couldn't rip her arms away from his warmth. She missed him more than she realized even though he had been right in front of her the whole time.

Weeks past without incident, the man they put in jail for 10 years for statutory rape never made good on his promise. Olivia and Elliot were finding excuses to see each other outside of work, and more often than not, the 2 would come up with plans. Sometimes it included Munch and Fin, but most of the time, it was just the two of them. Eliott was going to see his kids that weekend. He was still involved going to games, school events helping with homework. Kathy hadn't banished him and allowed him to even spend the night from time to time. When Elliot wasn't with Olivia, he was with his kids, and sometimes Kathy.

It was Friday night and Olivia and Eliott made their way to his apartment. It was closer to the restaurant they had ended up going too. Olivia walked in, and Elliot let his messages play.

"Hey, Elliot, the kids are excited to see you tomorrow if you can make it before noon we can have lunch before Dickie's soccer game, see you soon." Kathy's voice echoed through the room with a tone that seemed to be sexual even though the words were the furthest from it.

"Are you still sleeping with her?" Olivia asked. It was a question she hadn't meant to speak out loud. She covered her mouth quickly when she heard her voice in her ears.

Elliot laughed.

"sounds like someone's jealous," Elliot claimed.

Olivia swallowed hard, and it didn't go unnoticed.

"You didn't say no." Olivia claimed. She felt like crying, even though they weren't together. She felt betrayed in some horrible way.

"I can't lie and say we didn't full around after we had already discussed the divorce, but she was my wife Liv, we haven't done anything since it was finalized.

Olivia nodded her head in relief.

"Liv?" Elliot asked, confused by the emotion coming from his partner.

This was it, Olivia walked up next to him and kissed him hard, her hands on his chest. She couldn't help but moan out at the connection they had. Elliot was allowing the kiss entering his tongue into her mouth. She knew they shouldn't be doing this. Cragen would kill them, and IAB would have a field day, but she pushed those thoughts away. Elliot had his hands under her shirt. His fingers outlining her bra. She wanted nothing more than for him to pull her shirt up, her pants down and put himself inside of her, but she was pretty sure Elliot Stabler wouldn't be doing that, so she had to take this in her own hands.

His eyes seemed to be questioning her.

"I want this." She said out loud.

Elliot smiled and nodded his head as if she had rendered him speechless, and he took off his shirt. Olivia did the same. The studio apartment allowed them just a few steps to make it to his bed. She pulled down her pants and Elliot undid his belt. It fell in a pool on the floor. They were left in their underwear.

Elliot had pulled at the clasp of Olivia's bra, and she nodded approval as he unclipped it. Gravity pushing pulling her breasts into Elliot's face. She moaned out in pleasure when he flicked one of her nipples. Olivia was feeling all over and ground her hips into Elliot feeling his erection.

"El, you sure about this?" Olivia asked.

He nodded his head.

They both felt drunk despite only drinking one glass of wine at dinner. They were intoxicating to each other, and in a blur, they were naked Elliot entering her before the thought of protection crossed her mind. It hit her though as far as she knew she was the first woman other than Kathy he had sex with. He was reaching for a proper angle, and she couldn't help but let out a squeal when he pushed into her, Olivia Benson was quite sure this was Heaven. They couldn't help but be rough and passionate with each other. She was sure she was going to Climax in the next minute or so, and Elliot wasn't too far behind they were both going so quick they could barely keep up. It felt like they were 2 animals locked away from each other waiting for this moment, and now that it was finally here, it couldn't happen quick enough.

Olivia and Elliot came down off their highs, and Olivia wondered if this was a mistake. The sex was terrific some of the best she had ever had, but was that because of how taboo it was. Would this last. Should they even be doing this? Her heart was racing for an entirely new reason. She felt panic all over but refused to show it. She simply turned over Elliot wrapped his arms around her protectively. She tried her best to keep her mind from running 1000 scenarios a minute, but she couldn't, and she laid in bed all night with no sleep as Elliot rested comfortably.

Elliot woke up the next morning with his arms around who he thought was Kathy for a a brief moment before the night before came rushing back to him and him couldn't believe that Olivia was in his bed. The sex had been incredible, just like everything else Olivia did it was full force and he wasn't sure if he could ever concentrate on another case again knowing what lies beneath the layers, she always wears to work. It was later in the morning than he wanted it to be.

The moment he moved Olivia did too. Sometime in the night, she must have pulled on her shirt and underwear, but he was still naked under the sheet. He got up dressed Olivia looking away. He smiled at her shyness.

"Hey, I have to get ready to go you're welcome to stay as long as you want, Liv." Elliot stated.

"No, I got to go, El go have fun with your kids. I'll see you Monday." Olivia claimed.

Pulling her pants on and wrapping her jacket tightly around her. She grabbed her purse and walked out the door quickly. She made it to her apartment in record time, almost running before she showered and fell asleep in her own bed until late afternoon.

Monday came and Olivia couldn't stop the 1000 thoughts rushing through her head. Elliot walked in a few minutes after her a broad smile on his face when he met her eyes. He asked if she had plans tonight, and even though she didn't she lied. Elliot knew it too.

"Liv can we talk?" Elliott asked.

"Not here." She hissed.

Elliot was shocked by her attitude but let it go, they had a case to follow up on.

The rest of the week slid by Elliott and Olivia were constantly arguing it was Thursday and Olivia and Elliot had both been sent home because of how much drama they had been causing. Olivia just looked at Elliot before taking off. She knew what she needed to do, she wasn't too proud to put distance between her and Elliot, and she needed someone else to get him off her mind. She was at Julio's a bar she had passed multiple times on her way home but never entered it seemed a little upscale for her wants tonight, but she definitely felt as though she needed to get drunk and hook up. She knew it wasn't a good idea, but she didn't care. Soon after her 2nd Jack and Coke, a man named Patrick, came up beside her. He seemed kind enough, a single man looking for a good time. She didn't think twice after 4th drink to ask him to come home with her. He agreed and followed her to her apartment. The sex wasn't mind-blowing, but it was really good. Patrick treated her well. He had asked if she would be interested in seeing him again, and when she said she didn't know, he didn't get too upset. He put his number in her phone and walked out of the apartment to a man about to knock on her door.

"Elliott?" Olivia choked.

Patrick looked over at her, wondering if she had lied about being single and whether or not he may die by the hands of this man.

"I'm a cop, he's my partner." Olivia answered the question. Patrick nodded.

"I'll see you around Olivia," Patrick stated, making Elliot eye the man.

Olivia knew he was pissed.

"I called you we have a case," Elliot claimed.

Olivia sighed.

"Give me just a minute."

Olivia took a quick shower not even waiting for the water to warm and forgoing her hair, she quickly got dressed and walked back out to her living room, grabbing her shoes and walking out the door with Elliot. The case was open and shut, Linda a 20 something was yelling for help when her landlord found Josiah Gregs on top of her penis exposed and him pulling at Linda's pants. Elliot and Olivia were doing the paperwork.

"You can't hide forever Liv." Elliot claimed out of the blue.

"Elliot, I have no clue what you're talking about." Olivia bit her lip.

"You can pretend all you want, Liv, I get it." Elliot claimed.

"I don't think you do." Olivia raised her voice.

"Then why don't you explain it to me?" Elliot asked.

"Not here, tonight, your place, okay?" Olivia stated not sure why she was willing to offer the man an explanation.

Elliot simply nodded.

Before Olivia could talk herself out of it she waited for Elliot to finish up and they walked in silence to his apartment.

"So what is it Liv?" Elliot asked angerly.

"Listen El, I don't think we should be doing this?" Olivia stated.

"Doing, what sleeping with each other, you made that pretty clear when I met Patrick." Elliott howled.

"I didn't mean for that to happen," Olivia claimed.

"What the sex, or for me to meet him," Elliot questioned.

Olivia looked down. She knew she hurt him bad.

"Pretend all you want, Liv, but don't act like that we weren't good, don't act like you can't get me out of your mind," Elliott screamed.

Olivia was shocked at his anger and outburst. She knew she hurt him, but she didn't realize how much.

"I'm sorry El, your right I used Patrick to try to forget and move on, I can't be like this with you here, and act like we hate each other at work." Olivia claimed.

Elliot looked at her, realizing that she honestly felt that way.

"Liv, I didn't mean for it to be like that, I was just so wrapped up in my need for you that I took it out on you," Elliot admitted.

Olivia looked up into his eyes and melted. He took the lead this time, kissing her, making her moan out in the familiar tone he kept in his mind, it seemed like forever ago. Olivia allowed him to strip the clothes off of her touching her everywhere. She couldn't get enough. His hands were all over her, and she was hyperaware of how close he was. She grabbed at him, nipped him with her teeth. He growled out in appreciation, and she was pretty sure she could never leave his apartment again to be happy.

He's rough with her, but not in a painful way it's exciting, and she needs him just as bad as he needs her, and when they finally finish after what feels like hours, she is exhausted. Olivia no longer feels the thoughts that were in her head before and wonders how much sleep she'll need before she can do this again.


	21. Your Love

Your Love – The Outfield

A/N: Just, so you know where my mind is going with this, this is a play on how Olivia and Brian hook up again. As far as I remember, the show never gives insight exactly when they become a couple only that it happens after they reconnect, and he is the mystery man that takes her to the Bahamas at the end of season 12. So here it is.

Olivia had been texting and calling Brian for weeks now, after he had come so close to death, she couldn't handle the thought of not keeping in touch. It was usual light banter. Sometimes they would get a cup of coffee catch up with each other, smile, and call it a day. He was seeing someone else. Josie was her name, and Olivia was happy for her friend. Olivia was happy to play catch up with him after so much time, not seeing him, there were tons of stories they could tell each other 11 years was a long time without seeing each other, but at the same time, it felt like no time had passed at all. He still had that boyish grin, that rough edge. He was still gruff but charming in his way. Olivia missed it and was happy to hear his perspective. He always seems to know what to say.

It has been 3 months since they had started talking during the middle of an interrogation, she felt her phone rumble and ignored it. It rumbled again, and she ignored it. When it went off the third time in a row, and she felt like she wasn't getting anywhere, she left the perp in the chair and walked out quickly, pulling out her phone.

Brian: Hey Liv, uh, Josie took off.

Brian: I was hoping you could talk.

Brian: Can you come over after work?

Olivia sighed not that she didn't want to comfort her friend, but that he was feeling so horrible about Josie leaving. She would do everything she could to try to make it better. Relationships were not her strong suit and Brian knew that more than anyone. She quickly texted back.

Olivia: I'll be there soon, you at home now?

Brian: Yeah I'll be waiting.

Olivia knew that the other could handle the case, and she had so much time in she would already be questioned with all the overtime she collected. She quickly said she had somewhere she needed to be and would be back tomorrow. No one said anything and just nodded, allowing her to take off without being questioned.

Olivia had been to Brian's apartment a few times before even met Josie a time or two she was young. Not grossly so, nothing that made her think Brian was a perv, but Brian was was 45, and she was 32. Olivia thought it had been working out, and Brian's eyes would light up when speaking about her. She wasn't sure what happened but would know soon enough. She rang the buzzer, and without a word, he unlocked the door.

Olivia knocked , and Brian opened the door. She could tell he had been upset. His eyes were bloodshot, and tears threatened to fall. He was upset.

"Hey, thanks for coming Liv," Brian stated.

"Of course, I am so sorry, what happened?" Olivia asked.

"She left me, wrote me a damn note, like were in middle school or some shit." Brian claimed.

"I had a case I had been working, and I was barely home." He continued.

He shoved the note into Olivia's hand, and she stared at a second deciding to read the words.

_Brian, I am sorry, I have to do it like this, I just can't be here anymore. Julia and I are headed to San Deigo to stay with some friends. I really wanted this to work out. I thought we could, but with your work and my work, we were living different lives. I've taken a vacation for the next two weeks and will be searching for jobs in San Deigo and relocate there sooner rather than later. I wish I could have told you this in person. I feel like a bitch for writing a note but thought a text would be even worse. Besides, I don't even know if you would have read it. If I don't go with Julia now, I won't have another way to get there. Let's make this a clean break. I took all my stuff. You don't need to call me. I am so sorry. I hope you find someone that can make you happy. _

_Love, _

_Josie. _

"Brian," Olivia said lost at what to do a breakup letter that really sucked.

"Can we just order some pizza and talk about anything, but this?" Brian asked.

Olivia smiled and shook her head.

"Your choice," Olivia stated.

"Oh you mean I get to have a say, can't remember the last time I've had Casa's Josie hated it." Brian claimed.

Olivia knew Casa's she wasn't sure how anyone could hate the place the menu was wonderfully thought out with traditional pies and some bizarre choices. They had conventional Italian foods and hot sausage or pepperoni rolls that had Olivia's mouth watering just thinking about it.

They ordered more than a fair share of food. Olivia almost fell over when she heard Brian had never had their garlic knots and quickly doubled the order from 4 to 10 of the knots.

"You'll see." Olivia laughed.

It was early evening, and Brian flipped through the TV, finding a basketball game to watch. Olivia sat by him, but not too close. Brian started talking stats of various players, and Olivia smiled and nodded. She hadn't minded watching basketball. She didn't get bord watching, but she also really wasn't up to date on who was good and what teams did well. She allowed the educational lesson knowing Brian was getting his mind off Josie.

There was a knock on the door, and the food arrived. It looked more like they were having a party than just two friends hanging out watching TV.

The large pizza box barely fit through the door, the knots were in a large bag, and a smaller box on top held a pepperoni and onion roll.

Brian grabbed plates, and Olivia grabbed a slice of pizza, ¼ of the roll, and four garlic knots. Brian piled his plate too.

Olivia waited for Brian to pop a knot in his mouth, and when he did, she could see the smile pop upon his face.

"The best right?" Olivia asked.

He nodded quickly and popped another one in his mouth. Olivia laughed and one of hers as well.

They ate in comfortable silence.

"Thanks for this Liv, I really needed someone to just hang out with. I don't have a lot of friends these days."

"Your welcome," Olivia stated.

"Hey, you up for a game of chess?" Brian asked.

"Chess?" Olivia asked.

"You know how to play, right?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, it's just..." Olivia stated.

"You didn't expect me to know how," Brian stated, deflated.

"Well, not that I didn't expect you to know how didn't think that would be something to interest you. I have to warn you I am rusty I haven't played in years." Olivia admitted.

Brian nodded his head but proceeded to find the game and set up the board.

Olivia wasn't sure she could remember how the moves work but after Brian did a move or two; she found her bearings and was making moves around the board.

The game had been pretty even back and forth. Olivia thought Brian may have one more of her pawns than she had of his but she didn't count, nor did she care. They had been talking about how he learned the game and how she had come to the game as well, leading on to talking about childhood, which quickly shut both of them down. Olivia sighed when she heard "Checkmate" but not because she lost, she didn't care about that. She knew both their minds were wandering.

It was getting rather late, but she could tell that Brian wasn't quite ready to say goodbye, and despite the trip down memory lane, she had an overall good time with him.

"How about something less mentally draining," Olivia asked.

"Yeah, do you play cards?" Brian asked.

Olivia nodded her head.

He pulled out the deck and started shuffling.

He gave each of the seven cards and put the rest of the deck in the middle. Brian picked up the card, and Olivia did the same, not sure where this was going.

"You have any 5s?" Brian asked.

Olivia looked at him and laughed.

"Go fish?" Olivia asked questionably.

He drew a card, and his hand grew larger.

Olivia had one the first time and then Brian.

"Best out of three?" Brian asked.

"Sure." Olivia allowed.

She had one again still laughing at the fact this is what they were doing. She thought by now he would be supper drunk upset that Josie left and she would be dragging him to the bed by now, but in all the time she had been there, He had only had two beers and hadn't been blubbering on about the loss.

"Liv thanks so much, I should really let you go, I'm sure you have work in the morning," Brian claimed.

"I'm sure you do too." Olivia claimed.

"No, I've gotten a few days off too much overtime," Brian stated.

Olivia nodded her head, knowing how easy it was to do.

"Well, I can play hooky for a little bit. I'm in the same boat as you," Olivia mentioned

"Yeah?" Brian asked.

"yeah," Olivia claimed.

Brian led them back to the couch Olivia sitting closer this time , bumping his arm as he tried to find something on TV. After settling on some reality tv, they looked at each other laughed at how awful it was.

"You know Liv, this whole time I thought Josie was amazing you know, she was young, she was okay with me out all hours for work, or to blow off some steam, but I don't think I had anywhere near as much fun with her as I am with you right now," Brian confessed.

"You're just saying that because you're upset right now," Olivia claimed putting her hand on his shoulder.

"No, I mean don't get me wrong we got along alright, but she took herself too seriously. Go Fish would have been above her. Chess was some nerd thing, and reality TV would have been cause for the TV to be sold." Brian claimed.

Olivia shook her head.

"So why did you stay with her?" Olivia asked.

"Because she stayed with me," Brian claimed.

"Oh, Brian." Olivia sighed.

Brian looked up at her face, her and lips. He remembers so very long ago when they were both young and had been together. Olivia made it clear that she didn't date co-workers, that relationships weren't her thing. He so badly wanted to capture her lips, to show her she wrong all those years ago, but she had made that choice, and he was too afraid to try again.

Olivia saw his eyes, his desire for her making his pupils dilate his nose flare, and when he didn't press his lips to hers, she put her lips on his.

The fire from so long ago reignited quickly, and soon she had him pinned to the couch, and they were both enjoying each other.

Brian was elated. He knew this was a quick turn around and maybe this was a rebound, but he needed it, and she was different it's always been different with Olivia.

Despite the satisfaction, he was given the couch was too small for all for all of this, hoping it wouldn't break the spell he quickly asked

"Can we move this to the bedroom?"

Olivia looked down at him, trying to get the words through her head to make sense of them. She nodded, and he grabbed her hand and pulled him into the bedroom, the bed unmade.

"Liv, are you sure?" Brian asked.

"If you are," Olivia replied.

Brian nodded his head, and Olivia kissed him again, crawling in the bed , allowing Brian on top of her, kissing touching all over. She didn't expect it to go like this tonight, but she wasn't arguing. He was familiar, and although they were a little older, it felt like she was young again touching his body, pulling off his clothes, hearing his breath hitch when she allows him to enter her. It's delightful, and she is glad to have this second chance.

When they were finished, and their minds had time to wind down, Brian finally began to talk.

"Hey, Liv, I just want you to know I don't want to lose you, I'm sorry that I used you tonight," Brian stated.

Olivia closed her eyes; in essence that is what Brian did. He used her, but she allowed it, and he was right. She loved him. She couldn't say she was in love in with him, but she did love him.

She turned over and spooned the man she's known for so long.

"I want you to know it's been a while Bri, and I know we're not in the same department but think we can keep this under wraps a while?" Olivia asked.

Brian nodded and understood.

"Please don't think I don't want this," Olivia said quickly.

"No, I understand," Brian claimed.

Olivia sat there a little longer.

"I really should be going," Olivia claimed.

"Lock the door on your way out?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, and you call me tomorrow?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, Liv, goodnight," Brian stated.

"Goodnight, Bri," Olivia said.

She found her coat and locked the door walking back to her apartment. Wondering when or if this would happen again.


	22. Come to my Window

Come To My Window -Melissa Ethridge

Olivia Benson had dialed the number to her partner's phone but quickly hung up, not having a reason to call him. He had told her earlier today that he and Kathy were over. They had ended, and he had moved out some time ago. He had admitted he was embarrassed by the failure, but all Olivia could see was the opportunity. She thought about how long she had been holding on to hope; of course, she didn't want Kathy and Elliot to get a divorce, she knew it killed him inside. For so many years now, he was doing the same to her. Each day a part of her dying inside knowing that Kathy was keeping him to herself. She knew it was petty to hate her partner's wife. She had no reason, too, hell she even helped Elliot patch things up with her a few times despite herself. Elliot didn't know how much she gave of herself, how much he took of her. She turned over for the 15th time in the past 10 minutes before redialing his number, only to hang up before it rang again.

Olivia makes it to the precinct the next morning. Elliott was there in a wrinkled shirt, he hadn't left from the night before.

"Go to bed Elliot!" Olivia yelled, knowing they were both the only ones in the office.

"I had a few hours," Elliot replied.

"Well at least take a shower and change your shirt." Olivia commented.

Elliot nodded his head dropped his pen, and went back towards the cribs.

The two of them had been asked to pick up a perp, and Elliot was rougher than usual. Eliott pushed him into the interrogation room. Cragen was about to ask Elliot and Olivia to interrogate him, but Olivia nodded her head no before Cragen asked and saw the plead in Olivia's eyes.

"Alright I'll get Fin to handle this, why don't you guys take a break, take the day you've been working hard especially you Elliot go home." Cragen insisted.

Olivia knew that Elliot had been avoiding his new place like the plague.

"Want to come over to my place?" Olivia offers.

She knows she shouldn't do this. Of course, he had been alone with her numerous times at her place, at his family at home, on stakeouts. He had even stayed a few times on the couch when he and Kathy really got into it a few times, but now, this was something more.

"Thanks, Liv, yeah, for a little while," Elliot claimed.

Olivia and Elliot took a car and headed back to her place.

She opened the fridge, handed him a beer, and grabbed one herself.

"You want to tell me what happened back there?" Olivia asked.

"Liv.." Elliot started.

"Listen I know you're upset, but you can't take it out the perps, I don't need another partner because you don't know how to control yourself." Olivia sighed.

"Damnit Liv, I know that," Elliot admitted

"I know you're upset El, have you thought about counseling?" Olivia asks carefully.

"Yeah, actually the first appointment next week," Elliot admitted.

"Oh." Olivia didn't know what else to say. She was shocked by his admission.

She put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her and their eyes locked. She couldn't say a word and quickly looked away.

Elliot cleared his throat and took another sip of beer.

Olivia's cell phone rang.

"No not tonight, maybe sometime next week." Olivia was heard saying.

She wandered off into her bedroom to finish the conversation.

When Olivia came back, Elliot could tell she had a grimace on her face.

"If I'm interrupting something, I can go." Elliot stated.

"No, of course not, it was just the neighbor girl down the hall, she's 15 does errands for people in the building, she offers to clean clothes go to the store, house clean," Olivia claims.

Elliot nodded his head.

Olivia had hung up the phone, turned the TV on, not sure what could be on, Maury was on, and Elliot insisted they watched it. Olivia laughed as Elliot got into the show, not knowing how he could care so much that this woman was on the show for the 12th time and still hasn't found "the baby daddy." She ignored the show, for the most part, watching her partner instead. She had looked at him for so long, wondering what it would be like to have him to hold him. She knew he loved her. He had complimented her body before, but she didn't know if there was romance there. When they had been playing a role, the electricity was there. It felt real even though they tried for it not be. They were always hiding, but Olivia was convinced that Eliott had no idea how hollow she felt some nights.

She didn't act like she hasn't slept around since meeting Elliot just last week she had a date that ended in her bedroom, but it wasn't love. It was fun, and it was her normal, but she didn't want it to be. She longed to have what Elliot and Kathy had. She wasn't sure about it suddenly ending, but Elliot had admitted even knowing they would end in divorce. He would have still married her. They had more good years than bad ones, and he loved her.

Elliot was exhausted and fell asleep on Olivia's couch. She grabbed a pillow and blanket, slowly moving him to lay across the sofa. She ended up cleaning up the apartment grateful Elliot was used to sleeping through 4 kids running through the house because she seemed to be louder than she ever remembered while cleaning up.

Elliot woke up sometime in the late evening.

He looked around confused to where he was and realized he was in Olivia's apartment.

"Liv?" Elliot called out.

She had been in the kitchen cleaning out the fridge.

"Right here El." Olivia called and walked into the living room.

"Hey, sorry, when did I pass out?"

"Not long after we got here, about 4 hours ago," Olivia said as she looked at the clock.

"Shit, that long?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, sorry I didn't think to wake is there somewhere you need to be?" Olivia asked.

"No, I just got call the kids later," Elliot explained.

"How are they?" Olivia asked.

"Well all things considering the twins are taking it quite well. Maureen and Kathleen are out of the house, they knew it was coming." Elliot said, slightly saddened.

"Sorry, El, I didn't mean too..." Olivia started.

"No, it's fine," Elliot assured her.

"Maybe I should get going," Elliot stated, folding up the blanket.

"Where have you been staying, El?" Olivia asks.

"Don't worry about me, Liv," Elliot claimed.

"El, I worry about you have you been staying in the cribs?" Olivia asked.

"What would you say if I said yes?" Elliot asked.

"That you could do better on a bench in Central Park," Olivia stated.

Elliot laughed.

"I have a place it's just not home," Elliott admitted.

"I'm sorry El, if you need anything, call me." Olivia claimed.

"Thanks, Liv, I owe you," Elliot claimed.

"Stay for dinner?" Olivia asked.

Elliot thought for a long while, knowing it wasn't a good idea.

"I better go I'll see you tomorrow." Elliot claimed and walked out of the door. Olivia huffed and looked in her freezer, pulling out a microwavable meal, and ate it alone on her couch that night.

Olivia and Elliot had a few days off, and Elliot was going back to his home queens to visit the twins and catch up with them. He had been trying to see them as much as possible. Kathy had been understanding and let him come to the home whenever he wanted. Dickie and Lizzie had even stayed at his place once. The two of them admitted that things seemed to be better after their two parents separated. Elliot hated that the kids recognized how bad the marriage was at the end but was happy he and Kathy were no longer putting them through all of that. The kids missed their dad, but Kathy and Elliot both agreed that staying in the Queen's home was the most stable environment for the two of them.

Olivia had been happy Elliot was seeing the twins and talking to Maureen and Kathleen regularly. She had pushed herself into another date, and it wasn't going well. The man she was with had been someone Munch of all people set her up with. The man was her type she hated to admit, but he was doing the one thing she couldn't stand, he was talking with his mouth full all throughout dinner. He was so good looking and polite, but this one thing had thrown her off. She was wishing, begging for a call even if it was work to have an excuse to get out of there.

Luckily although not happily, Elliot saved the day.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, El, what's up?" Olivia asked.

"Are you out I can call you back." Elliot started.

"No please, meet me at my place, I'll be home soon." Olivia stated.

"I'm actually pretty close, like outside your door," Elliot admitted.

Olivia laughed.

"I'll be about 30 minutes, if you won't go up the fire escape, jiggle the window it will unlock if you do it right, wait for me, I'll be right there." Olivia claimed.

Olivia hung up, told her date she had to meet her partner. She threw down a $20 bill before the man could protest, and walked out of the restaurant, hoping never to see the man again.

Olivia walked back to her place the chill in the air made her wish she hailed a taxi instead, but the walk cleared her mind. If she had to be honest with herself between the man talking with his mouth full, she imagined Elliot at the other end of the table. She knew that he was hurting, but she was too. She had hurt for so long that her heart ached, sometimes she felt dark because she couldn't have his light and now that she had the chance, she knew what she wanted, and she was going to take it.

Olivia walked into her apartment, her partner inside.

"You should get that fixed," Elliot said in a concerned voice.

"I should give you a key," Olivia replied.

Elliot smiled.

Olivia went next to him and sat on the couch.

"Is everything alright?" Olivia asked.

"Olivia I just crawled inside your bedroom window, so no, I don't think so." Elliot admitted. He took a deep breath and relaxed his head against the sofa.

"I'm sorry El." Olivia stated.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and put her weight against his side.

He held her tight, he didn't cry, but his voice started to waver as he explained how hard it was to go back to an empty apartment with just him there.

Olivia knew how lonely a place could be, and she was never used to kids and significant other being around.

She nodded her head to show she understood his pain.

"Stay." Olivia said simply.

"Liv, I can't do that to you." Elliot sighed.

"I want you too," Olivia admitted.

Elliot looked up and smiled at her.

"Liv, I don't know if it's a good idea," Elliot admitted.

"It most definitely is not," Olivia claimed.

Before Elliot knew what was happening, Olivia pushed her lips to his, and without hesitation, he allowed her tongue to push into his mouth. He groaned in pleasure, his whole body felt electricity, and he wasn't sure what to do surprised by his partner's advance.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I'm sorry El, I just really want this." Olivia admitted.

"If I just screwed up, you can go, we can forget about this." Olivia started hopping up away, pushing herself as far away from him as possible. She was about to go lock herself in her bedroom, but he caught up with her, grabbed her arm, and pulled her into him, kissing her lips again.

"I want this too."


	23. Head Over Feet

l Head Over Feet – Alanis Morissette (R/O)

Olivia looked over at the man who had wormed his way into her heart. She would never admit that out loud, even though Amanda had asked her if something was up between the two. Olivia wished Amanda's theory was right, but she couldn't do it. She had fallen for so many men at work and never worked out. She couldn't lose him and wouldn't dare to ruin their cases. She had so many close calls so many disclosures, and she, like her self Rafael Barba was married to the job.

Olivia wasn't alone with him, she couldn't put herself in that situation, because the risk was too considerable. She was with him and the rest of her team as per usual, celebrating a win in the courtroom. 3 bottles of empty wine littered the table with a 4th one coming out. They had all slowly been eating their entrees and had delved into more personal topics. She was Sandwiched between Rafael and Amanda Rafael asking about Noah, as Amanda Sonny talk about her girls. Fin was a bit of the 5th wheel but she could tell he was keeping his ears open. He didn't seem to mind that no one was asking him anything, and Olivia knew he was more private than anyone at the table. Olivia noticed the sad smile on his face as the night wore on, and she was wondering what he was hiding. Olivia had to admit the two of them had become close friends even though she had always wanted something more. Finally, she gave in to the look.

"Rafael, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

Rafael's face twisted in confusion, surprised to know Olivia had felt him out so quickly. He was pondering if he should make the announcement or not. He had just been told after the case, and he was a bit upset by the news, but in the back of his mind, he couldn't help but think that this could be a very good thing.

Rafael, light clang on his wine glass, and everyone looked at him.

"I have an announcement," Rafael stated.

"With some regret I have to inform you all that, as of today, I will no longer be SVU's ADA. I am being transferred by the DA to Vice, this wasn't my decision and I am going to miss working with each and everyone of you."

Olivia almost lost it at the words she felt sick like the world had stopped turning, the burn in her ears sounded like a freight train, and she couldn't stop the tears from cascading down her face, but she refused to cry. Everyone stared at the man, stunned, confused, scared for the next step.

"Apparently, the ADA with Vice has retired, and I am the next senior ADA, they are months behind, and cases are being dropped because of due process. I was informed that ADA Mya Littleton will be taking my place and has experience with SVU in Queens. I don't know her personally, but I've looked her up. She's a hell of a lawyer." Rafael claimed.

"So we'll still see you around?" Amanda asked.

"Yes, I am staying on board until the rest of my cases are finished but she will be taking up the new ones. I officially start with Vice next week, picking up new cases from them." Rafael explained.

"I still have about 30 more cases on the docket for the next 6 months, so you won't be totally rid of me for a while." Rafael smiled.

Amanda nodded her head. Olivia still hadn't quite gotten over it.

"Is this what you want?" Sonny asked.

"It was a surprise. I really don't have much of a choice. It will be different, and I don't think I will ever find a squad like you guys." Rafael says, honestly.

Fin just nodded his head, confirming her heard every word out pf Rafael's mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to ruin the moment, just while I had everyone together I wanted to let you know, and I didn't want the rumor mill to spill it out before I could." Rafael explained.

"We get it." Amanda agreed.

The conversation eventually picked back up, and the group ignored the fact that eventually, they would stop seeing each other. They didn't pretend they would casually hang out. They didn't ensure that they would still be best friends because they all knew it wouldn't be true . Instead, they moved on and would pick up the pieces later because that's what they always had to do.

After the news Olivia had ordered a whole bottle of scotch for the table. Rafael was surprised, but the 5 of them took multiple shots and were all highly intoxicated. She, as a captain should have known better, but the emotion took over, and she really didn't care at the moment.

They all held their liquor well, a workplace territory that she is sure shouldn't be the case. Olivia didn't dwell on the fact that they had all downed the liquor and were still sitting up straight.

Rafael had offered to pick up the tab, but the 5 decided to split it evenly. When Olivia went to stand up, her head was spinning, and although she could tell what she was doing and where she was going, she had slightly stumbled. Rafael and Fin both noticed.

"You okay, Liv?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, got up to fast with a little too much to drink, but I am fine," Olivia admitted.

She took a deep breath in and headed for the door a little more confident with each step. The night air sobered her up quickly as well. She knew though that no one should be driving. They all split an Uber XL, and although they knew it would cost more meandering throughout Manhattan, they all had felt the need to stay close as long as possible.

One by one, they got out of the Uber, leaving Olivia and Rafael alone in the back.

Olivia was heavily leaning on Rafael blaming the alcohol lowering her inhibitions, and not really caring about the fact she shouldn't be doing this. Rafael was trying to remind her of some funnier times over the years, and although she was laughing, she couldn't help but think all of this was ending.

Olivia was next to get out, and when the Uber pulled off to let her up, Rafael didn't want to let her go. He hugged her tightly.

"I'll see you Monday." He whispered.

"See you." Olivia stated.

Olivia made her way to the apartment, still feeling the slight effect of alcohol coursing through her body. She thanked the babysitter and went to check on Noah, who was sound asleep. She went to shower, feeling hot from the alcohol and tight from the emotional roller coaster the day had brought.

As the water fell on Olivia, she couldn't help but think of Rafael and how much it would hurt not to see him every day. How dreadful it would be to break in a new ADA, and how different her life would be now that Rafael Barba would no longer play a role in her day to day life.

When Olivia got out of the shower, she saw several messages in the group text that included her squad and Rafael making sure everyone got home okay, she was the only one not to respond.

She quickly typed a response saying she was fine and wished everyone a goodnight.

Weeks past and Rafael was seen less and less, just like they all knew would happen. He had fascinating stories from the Vice Squad, some more humorous than others. Olivia could tell he was uncomfortable about the new assignment but also knew it helped him to come over and talk to his friends. Rafael had admitted he got along with a few of the detective's over there but still longed to have the SVU job back.

Mya was, through, and Olivia really did like her. She was very different than Rafael Barba, she wasn't as confident, but she was more willing to take certain things to trial. She was caring and compassionate and although she was always in the best interest of the victim she tended to push more plea deals. Olivia couldn't complain. She had just met Mya, and they all seemed to be on the same page. She was no Rafael Barba, but she was strong and Olivia knew with time she would be a friend , but it still stung that she was replacing her best friend.

Rafael had walked into Olivia's office, one seemingly random day.

"You busy tonight?" Rafael asked.

"Mmm, not really but I have to be home by 5:30 for Noah." Olivia mentioned.

"Would it be a problem if I met you at your place then?" Rafael asked.

"No, is everything okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, of course," Rafael stated.

"Okay, see for dinner?" Rafael asked.

"Deal." Olivia smiled.

The clock couldn't move quick enough for Olivia, and although it felt like hours passed, the clock on the wall told her it was only 26 minutes since Rafael walked out of her squad room. Olivia sighed frustrated with the turn of events she had been counting down the cases, Raphael only had 18 more cases with them. Yes it was a lot, some that won't come to court for months, maybe even years but it was like a count down to the last time they would ever see each other again.

Olivia got home to Noah, telling him company was coming he loved his uncle Rafa and Olivia once again worried how he would feel when the man walked away for good. She felt a pit form in her stomach at the thought. She knew that he was still in town, and maybe from time to time, he could stop by, but she wouldn't get her hopes up. She wouldn't let herself feel anything if she was honest. She knew that Rafael Barba was a good man, one of the best. She had been burned so many times, though , and she wasn't sure if she could trust him to stick around. When she thought about that made her even more sick. She wasn't sure how to live without seeing her best friend.

Rafael knocked on the door. Olivia greeted him quickly, followed by Noah running for a hug. Rafael smiled and scooped the boy up into his arms. Olivia smiled at the interaction.

"Pizza?" Olivia asks.

"Special occasion?" Rafael asks.

"Yeah you're, here." Olivia claims.

Rafael laughed , which eased Olivia's feeling slightly. She grabbed her cell and ordered what she knew the 3 of them would agree on.

Noah had been showing "uncle Rafa" all his new toys and telling him about school. Rafael listened intently until the pizza arrived.

Noah and Rafael shared the same facial expression when Olivia opened the box of hot pizza and she couldn't suppress a giggle.

The three of them eat pizza quietly before Olivia announces to Noah it's close to bedtime. She doesn't make him bathe, and with Rafael's insistence, he reads the little boy to bed.

Olivia is cleaning up the kitchen.

"How was your day?" Rafael asks.

"Busy, as always. Mya is nice, and she is doing really well, but she isn't Rafael Barba." Olivia admitted.

"I know, but hey, we still have a few cases to go," Rafael stated.

"Then what?" Olivia questions, despite trying to keep the thought to herself.

Rafael sighed.

"Then I come over and eat pizza with you and Noah as often as you let me." Rafael answered.

Olivia looks over at him.

"We both know that isn't how this works," Olivia said flatly.

"How what works Liv?" Rafael asked.

"This, us, friendship outside the squad. You're with Vice now and despite us still having cases now. Eventually, we won't, and you'll be with Vice and I will be with SVU, and maybe we'll pass by maybe on special occasions we'll see each other, but I've been doing this a long time Barba trust me you'll leave." Olivia said, trying her best not to cry.

Rafael looked at her, his face pale with worry. His stomach in knots thinking about not seeing her anymore. He definitely didn't like her ideas of the future. They were bleak and upsetting.

"Liv, I'm not just going to leave you." Rafael insists.

"They all do." Olivia claims.

"What in the hell are you talking about, Liv?" Rafael asks sharply.

"I've dealt with a lot of people leaving over the years, and more often than not, once you leave the place, you don't come back even for your friends." Oliva stated.

Rafael couldn't help but get angry.

"I know I'm an asshole Liv, but I didn't think you thought I was so callous." Rafael stated. He was pissed that Olivia thought their friendship meant nothing to him.

"I'll see you around Olivia," Rafael called out as he walked to the door.

Olivia couldn't open her mouth to say anything and let the man walk out of her life, closing the door for what she felt was the last time.

Rafael walked into the precinct to coach Fin for an upcoming case. He hadn't talked to Olivia since that night, and although he ached to hear her voice, he was still angry. He had been talking to Fin and noticed she wasn't in her office.

"She's out on a call." Fin said as if reading Rafael's mind.

Fin went with him to an interrogation room to go over the questioning.

They had been there for about 30 minutes, when Rafael finally asked what he felt.

"Do you think after I'm done with the last case, I'll talk to you again?" Rafael asked.

Fin gave him a glare.

"Yeah, man, I'm sure our paths will cross." Fin stated.

"No, I mean invite you out," Rafael stated.

Fin eyebrows shot up.

"Who the hell hurt you all?" Rafael asks angrily.

"What is this about, Barba?" Fin asked.

Rafael licks his lips, not sure if he should confine in Fin the conversation he had with Olivia.

"I was at Liv's house the other day, and she is convinced that after our last case is over, we'll never see each other again," Rafael claimed.

Fin looked at him for a second.

"Look, man, it's not my story to tell, but she's been hurt by a lot of people, a lot of "friends," and more than friends. Don't take it personally. She has a lot of hurt and you're just going to have to show her you're a friend, no matter what." Fin claimed.

Rafael shook his head, suddenly feeling worse because despite being friends he has no idea who has hurt her. Of course he knew about the break-ups over the years and some of her childhood, but he couldn't help but wonder why no one would stay friends with Olivia Benson. It was hard not to gravitate to her.

When they come out of the interrogation rooms, he sees her back at her desk, typing away.

"Hey," Rafael says quietly.

She looked up and gave a sad smile.

"Hey," Olivia claimed.

"Can you swing by my place sometime this week?" Rafael asked.

"Sure, I'll let you know," Olivia claimed.

"I look forward too it." Rafael smiled and walked slowly out of her office and to the elevators.

Olivia was knocking on Rafael's door 3 days later. He let her come in.

"I want to apologize for a few weeks ago, but you got to know Liv, your my best friend, and there is no way I'm giving you up." Rafael claims.

Olivia doesn't know if she can entirely trust the statement, but she gives in to his words and nods.

"Okay." She stated simply and nods her head. Rafael comes and wraps his arms around her.

They both take in deep breaths and ignore the spark they feel just holding on to each other as if they would blow away.

More weeks pass, and Rafael and Olivia are talking every day either by text or video chat. They ask about each other's day. Rafael offers to take her and Noah out to dinners, which she gladly accepts, and they spend more and more time together.

Olivia can't help but feel overwhelmed by him. She definitely had feeling before but now, she felt like she was falling even more despite herself. She didn't want this to turn into a romance. She had no room, or so she thought, but Rafael Barba was proving her wrong daily.

Olivia was happy. She had loved going out with Rafael, the whole squad had been out a few times, and overall Olivia felt more balance in her life. She missed him by her side at work, but it gave them something to talk about. Vice had sounded exciting, and both were giving advice to each other about the next steps in their cases.

It was a random night when Rafael kisses Olivia goodnight at her doorstep, it was barely more than a peck on the lips but her lips were instantly on fire, Rafael blushed at his own doings and let out a raspy "goodnight" before fleeing quickly back down to his car.

The next day Olivia packs up early and goes to the DA office. She takes the familiar route to his office, he is stunned to see her there and smiles instantly.

She closes the door, notices his blinds are already closed.

"What do you need?" Rafael asked.

"You," Olivia says simply.

Rafael is not sure what to think of her simple statement and stands up confused.

She walks over to him in three steps, pulls him by his collar onto her lips, and she can't help but feel dizzy by his kiss.

"Um, uh, let me pack up here. We can go to my place?" Rafael asks.

Olivia simply nodded, stepping back, trying to give him some space. Olivia's not sure if Rafael even knows what he is packing in his briefcase, but she doesn't say a word and follows him out the door.

When they get back to his apartment, they are instantly touching. There hand all over each other.

"Liv?" Rafael asks.

"Yeah?" Olivia asks as her hand spread over his chest.

"I wasn't sure, I could win you over." Rafael says seriously.

"You already have," Olivia claims.

"I can see that," Rafael states as he lets out a deep laugh.

"But, you could have anyone, Liv," Rafael says honestly.

"Rafael Barba, you are patient, you listen, and you're easy on the eyes, you could have your pick yourself." Olivia admits.

"I want you." Rafael claims.

"Despite my best efforts, you have me, Barba," Olivia stated.

Their lips meet, and before she knows it clothes are on the floor, she is allowing him to pull her into his bedroom with her only thoughts being why she waited this long.


	24. Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

er Will, You Still Love Me Tomorrow?- The Shirelles(E/O)

Olivia was looking at the man in her bed, she was still trying to think if it had been the biggest mistake of her life, or the best thing that had ever happened to her. Elliot Stabler was indeed a single man. He had told her months ago that he and Kathy were over. She had run to Oregon as a UC but in her heart, she knew she accepted the job because she needed to get away from the guilty pleasure that was Elliot Stabler, but as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Now here she was less than 24 hours after coming back to New York City with Elliot Stabler in her bed. His naked body still sending shivers down her spine despite the fact he was already sleeping, she had a feeling this was the first time he had a good night's rest since she left. She knew she had hurt him deeply by leaving. She surprised him by showing up at his doorstep forgoing a stop at home. Elliot was at a loss when he saw her at the door.

Olivia noticed the beers on the coffee table but didn't say a word. Elliot noticed the suitcase that she lugged behind her.

"You just got back," Elliot claimed.

"Yeah." Olivia stated.

"And you didn't even go home yet?" Elliot stated.

"Close enough." Olivia said suddenly.

She opened her arms, and Elliot accepted her embrace.

Elliot could feel her sobbing against his t-shirt.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Elliot asked. He rubbed circles on her back.

She nodded her head.

"I'm just happy to be home," Olivia claimed.

Elliot smiled at her.

"Come on, let's get you to your actual home," Elliot stated.

Olivia nodded her head.

Elliot had not lived too far from her apartment and they decided to walk to her place.

"Stay a while?" Olivia asked.

"Of course, so what can you tell me, Liv?" Elliot asked.

"Not a lot, to be honest, debrief wasn't too long ago, but we got him." Olivia smiled.

Elliot nodded his head.

"Why did you go?" Elliot asked suddenly.

"I had to get him El," Olivia claimed.

"I know Liv but UC, come on, you left me for weeks." Elliot stated.

"I know." Olivia sighed.

"I thought we were partners, Liv," Elliot claimed.

"That's the problem," Olivia whispered.

Elliot heard her words perfectly fine but wasn't sure what she meant by them. Used to he could read her like a book, but recently it's like she's closed herself off.

"What did I do to piss you off so bad you ran away from me?" Elliot asked.

"You wouldn't understand." Olivia stated quickly, "maybe you should just go."

"So you show up to my place before you even come here, and now your telling me to go?" Elliot asked angrily.

"I guess I am." Olivia stated, defeated.

"I just don't get it Liv, are you even coming back to SVU?" Elliot asked.

When Olivia doesn't answer right away, he stands up.

"Unbelievable, what did you come back just to tell me goodbye?" Elliot asks.

Olivia stops him from moving to the front door.

"No, of course not, of course, I'm coming back," Olivia claimed.

"You don't seem to happy about that, your whole life change in 6 weeks? Find something better out there?" Elliot asks.

Olivia can't hold back her tears.

"The opposite, actually?" Olivia claims.

Elliot looks at her questioningly.

"I left because I had to get away from you." Olivia claimed.

Elliot growls in frustration and has a hand on the door. She pushes his hand away quickly.

"I couldn't stand it anymore, El, don't you know how much I've wanted you, wanted us? I couldn't deal with it, I couldn't help but think you were a single man now El and it could be real, but it couldn't because we were partners, and I never would want you to regret me, be mad at me, be upset with me, so before I lost it I ran away because I couldn't deal with the tension anymore.

Elliot's eye darken at her admission, he's pissed he didn't grasp the feeling before. He couldn't believe the words pouring out of her mouth; she had definitely been undercover too long.

Elliot realized how close Olivia was to him.

"So you sat across the desk, thinking about how it could be to kiss me?" Elliot asked.

"Yes," Olivia admitted.

"How would it feel with my body wrapped around yours?" Elliot asks.

"Yes," Olivia admitted.

"You had a long time to think about it, while your gone, what's your conclusion." Elliot asked.

"I want you." Olivia admitted.

Desire burned throughout Elliot's body.

He nodded and looked at her.

He leaned into her kiss, looking into her eyes, and she gave a simple nod.

His lips were pressed against hers. His mouth hot, and she couldn't breathe. This was actually happening. She felt herself reach under his shirt without thinking, and he moaned out as her fingers spread across his torso. They continued in a frenzied pace, Elliot was unbuttoning her shirt, and she had already flung his off.

"You sure about this?" Elliot asked as she was pulling him to his room.

"More than you know." Olivia admitted.

Elliot nodded his head and followed her into her bedroom.

Her bra came off first, and he smirked. He had never seen her without this much clothing, and although he had seared some images in his mind, nothing could ever be as good as what was right in front of him. Olivia was pulling at his belt and smiled at her pulling it lose. He unbuttoned his pants, but Olivia pulled his hands away before he unzipped, and Elliot allowed her to remove the zipper. She did it slowly as if as soon as the zipper was undone, he would come, and this would all be over. She wouldn't be far off in her estimate though, Elliot was more than riled up.

Her knuckles lightly grazed his length and made him even harder. She was slowly teasing him, and it was driving him insane, but he knew that this was a long time coming and wouldn't stop her from doing anything she wanted tonight.

After all their clothing came off, Oliva and Elliot both took their time exploring each other's bodies. There familiar hands touching unfamiliar parts and sending shockwaves throughout each other's bodies.

When the foreplay is over, and Olivia is on top asking if it's okay to continue he can't answer, he is totally lost in his own world, and Olivia has to physically shake him to get his attention.

"Yes, please!" Elliot begs.

Olivia guides him in, and he can't breathe, it was a whole new experience, and after having sex with Kathy for so long he knew it would be different, but this feeling wasn't anything he had ever felt before. Olivia is on top of him, and the image will stick in his brain forever, and he can't help but groan out. This was all too overwhelming, Olivia is enjoying herself and getting a little sloppy as her orgasm hits, and Elliot has to stabilize her as she pushes faster into him, and he can't help it all of a sudden he comes undone, and it feels incredible. He doesn't know if he has control of his body at this point Olivia Benson has taken him over and he is washed in some kind of post-orgasm high with a mix of utter need to pull her close. Elliot didn't think about the consequences at hand, he pulled Olivia close and whispered

"Welcome home, Liv."

Olivia smiled, but her brain went into overdrive. Was that all this was a "welcome home." would he be there in the morning. Was this just a one time deal. She didn't plant this night by any means, but with a lot of time, Oregon to think about things she realized she wanted him more than a partner and more than a friend. Olivia wasn't sure if they were on the same page. She knew Elliot wasn't some guy for a quick fuck and run, that was her MO, but she wasn't sure if this was him being over-excited by her return. She suddenly couldn't sleep and wondered what the morning light would bring.

The morning sun had come through the windows, and Elliot turned over to see Olivia In bed the night before came rushing to the front of his memory. He didn't know Olivia had just fallen asleep about 2 hours ago after hours of worry.

He turned over, pulled her close, waking her up.

"Mmm, love you Liv." Elliot said sleepily.

Those words did it, she smiled deeply pushed her body up against his tightly, "Love you, El." and quickly went back to sleep.


	25. Use Somebody

Use Somebody -Kings of Leon.

A/N: I know this is the first update in quite a while. I have been working on some other stuff. This one I wanted to make E/O but really felt it was more R/O, the next one is definitely going to be E/O. As always, I love the reviews thanks for sticking with me. This one is overly sappy and AU.

Olivia was looking out her bedroom window, looking down at the people walking along the street. She had a habit of doing this when she couldn't clear her head. There was a case going to trial soon. Carasi was lead on it, and she knew he was good, but she could really use Rafael Barba right about now. He was back in town, she knew it. They were planning to meet up in a few days when everything slowed down. She wondered what he was doing tonight.

She never knew him to date. He had admitted to her a few one night stands after they got drunk one night. She was wondering if he was meeting a girl now. She bit her lip and tried not to think about it. They were not together, she had been doing the same thing for years before Noah came around. She closed her eyes, her mind now wondering if it was finally their chance. Olivia had fallen in love with the man. Rafael Barba had been her best friend, and she knew better than to try to get his attention as something more. She could really use him now even as just a friend. She missed the man so much and to know he was in the same city, well it made her heartache for him even more.

She looked at her phone, questioning if she should message him. She closed her eyes , turning her phone off, looking at the clock it was 1 am and she hadn't even realized. She tucked herself in and went to sleep.

Olivia woke up the next morning getting ready for court, after all this time she still stressed out and was nervous about the case. She smiled at Carasi and insured him he could get it done. She watched as the man on the stand a 60-year-old who has been sexually abusing girls since he was 18, tries to save himself to no avail. The jury had listened to a few women and had enough to go on. He was finally caught when his neighbor called in a report. It made Olivia happy that the jury seems to be sympathetic to the victims. It was a long day, though, with several witnesses. When the court was in recess, Olivia let out a sigh and walked out of the courtroom, and back to the precinct to catch up on her paperwork.

She had called the sitter a long time ago, stating she was going to be late. She was signing paperwork and heard a ding on her cell phone a text. She picked up her phone for the needed distraction.

"I could use some company tonight." Rafael texted.

"Someone like me?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, can I come over?" Rafael asked.

"I'm still at work, I'll meet you at Anthony's in 30?" Olivia texted back.

"Sure." Rafael replied.

Olivia's heart skipped a beat as the message came across her screen. She felt giddy, and told herself to calm down. Rafael was a friend, her best friend nothing more, but certainly nothing less. They hadn't been eye to eye in almost 2 years now. They kept up the video chatted they text they had the occasional phone conversations, but face to face was something different. Olivia wasn't sure how much longer she could hide her feelings for the man when they could look into each other's eyes, hug each other, touch each other.

Olivia smiled as she was heading out, Fin was still there.

"Hot date?" Fin asked.

Olivia turned to look at him.

"That smile says it all Liv," Fin stated.

"Well, if that's what you want to think." Olivia laughed.

She walked to the elevators, and down the street to Anthony's.

It was a pizza place that they would occasionally pick up a pie. She couldn't remember the last time she went there but remembered it was Rafael's favorite pizza place near her station. She walked in the door, Rafael waiting impatiently his knee, bouncing his eyes glued to his phone. Despite it all he looked great and Olivia couldn't help but smile in full as her eyes saw him sitting right in front of him.

"Liv" He whispered.

He looked at her as though he was surprised she showed up. He stood up, and they both stared entirely too long at one another. Olivia didn't know if Rafael had wrapped his arms around her first or if she had, but it didn't matter because they were intertwined, and she felt as though a weight had been lifted. She couldn't help but feel the warmth in his embrace warm her soul as well.

"It's great to see you," Rafael claimed.

"I've missed you Rafa." Olivia admitted.

He smiled at her.

"I've already ordered," Rafael claimed.

Olivia and Rafael sat looking at each other, not knowing what to say. Olivia was lost in his eyes. She missed this man so much. She couldn't help but smile at him.

The conversation was light. Their pizza was gone and both were looking for excuses not to go separate ways.

"I need to get back to the sitter, do you want to come over?" Olivia asked.

Rafael stares at her a second.

"Yeah of course." Rafael smiled.

They left Anthony's and Olivia smiled glad her best friend was coming home with her.

When she turned the key, and opened the door, Rafael felt like home. He was wondering what's been missing for the past week he's been, there and now he knew it was Olivia Benson.

Olivia went and checked on Noah who was fast asleep.

"He's going to be upset if he finds out he missed you." Olivia claimed.

"I'm not going anywhere," Rafael claimed.

Olivia smiled. They sat on her couch it wasn't awkward but it was silent. Olivia leaned into him, and he gladly took her weight.

"Liv, I love you," Rafael stated.

The words weren't supposed to come from his lips and they had. His heart started pounding. His mouth went dry and his brain was pushing him to stand up despite Olivia's weight on top of his chest, but before he could move she snuggled closer.

"About time you noticed, I love you too," Olivia confessed.


	26. If the World was Ending

A/N: Hey guys, it's been forever, I know, I have been working heavily on some Stargate fics, so if you loved that show too, look at some of my stories. This is going to R/O. I thought about E/O, but Rafael just fit better in my mind. This is short. I will be working on some others and posting them soon.

If the World Was Ending – JP Saxe Ft. Julia Michaels

Olivia closed her eyes. She hadn't told anyone of the relationship she and Rafael Baraba had. Brian had left her, and Rafael was there. Noah was adopted, and Rafael was there, and one night after a rough case, Olivia admitted to Rafael Barba she just needed someone. He nodded his head and grabbed her hand. They headed out of the bar and back to his apartment. The sex was good, like forbidden fruit, and she chastised herself for sleeping with the ADA.

He was a good man, and a man that she wanted to be with, but they couldn't. The next day it was business as usual. Three months passed by and another hard case, let her wander to his apartment again, and she was the one pulling off his clothes. She was speaking Spanish to him and, his pupils dilated at her touch. She enjoyed him once again, and although she didn't regret it, she knew this isn't how it worked. Nothing was forever.

They played the game on and off, and then, one day, Rafael had told Olivia he wanted to let the DA know. He wanted to make this work, and although she wanted that more than anything, it was too much, too soon. She couldn't and wouldn't be put on trial for her interest in yet another man that became a conflict.

Rafael saw it in her eyes and dropped it immediately.

"Rafa, if things were different," Olivia admitted and hugged the man close.

Rafael nodded and went back to the case at hand.

A few weeks later, Rafael Baraba was charged with the murder of that little boy and left New York, leaving Olivia and the life he knew behind.

Rafael had been gone two weeks, and she needed him, missed him felt it in her gut that she should have never let him go. So she texts him and gets a reply. She messages him and admits her mistake, but they both know that right now, he is gone, and they weren't going to be seeing each other for a while.

It's been close to a year, and Olivia and Rafael keep up telling each other everything, like two best friends in high school, and Olivia smiles every time his face pops up on her phone. She misses him more than ever, and as she reads her message, she is in shock, he has finally decided to come home.

Olivia is elated. Then she fears it. Not knowing what to expect. Did he still care about her the way she cared about him? Had he thought she just wanted to be friends. She closed her eyes. She messaged him back and hoped for the best.

It was the day that Rafael was to return to the city, and he was sending her all these pictures of him with his mom and familiar shops. She was swamped at work and wasn't going to be home until late.

Suddenly a week passed without either realizing, and they still hadn't seen each other. They were going through the motions as if he was in California and not 12 blocks away. Olivia had gone home late at night and gotten through the door when she felt the building shake and heard the warning on her phone, that an earthquake happened in the Atlantic Ocean. Olivia panicked a little, although Noah seemed to be okay. They were told there could be shock waves. She didn't like the ground under her moving.

Twenty minutes later, there is a knock at her door.

"Are you okay?" Rafael asks.

Olivia looks at him, leans in and hugs him.

"I've got you, Liv," Rafael claims.

Rafael walks with Olivia to the empty couch.

"It might not be safe here," Olivia claimed.

"And my apartment's much better, if this is the way my world is supposed to end, I'm spending it with you," Rafael admits.

Olivia kissed his lips, grateful to the man giving her a second chance.


	27. Be Still My Beating Heart

Be Still My Beating Heart – Sting

Okay, so I promised that the last chapter was going to be E/O, and it was not. So here is my E/O chapter I promised. I hope you enjoy it.

After Olivia came back from Oregon, things seemed different. Olivia had changed, nothing you could see by the naked eye, and not if you didn't know her well enough, but it changed her. Elliot had too had changed navigating his personal life without her, it was frustrating. His best friend was gone, not just for a few days but for weeks, and it was a big-time in his life, single once again. He wasn't sure how to go through the motions. He kissed Danni Beck like an idiot. He wished she was Liv. It was an odd feeling to kiss the lips of another woman that wasn't Kathy, but it wasn't what he wanted, and he instantly regretted it. Now Olivia was back, his heartbeat wildly when he saw her. He had always admitted she was attractive, she was younger, not much, but young enough to notice. She was his partner, his best friend, and although he saw her beauty, he'd never thought of a romantic relationship with her, even when Kathy had assumed it multiple times. Now that she had returned, little "what if" thoughts floated through his mind as she sat across from him.

He wanted nothing more than to tell her about the changing feeling in his mind, and in his heart, he's told her everything else. One night they were both working late, Elliot began staring her not on purpose but he in the middle of daydream involving the both of them.

"El?" Olivia asked, but he was totally zoned out. She laughed at him and flicked a pencil on his forehead.

He felt the pencil hit his head and shook out of it and smiled at her.

"Sorry," Elliott claimed.

Olivia laughed.

"You okay?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah, fine," Elliott exclaimed.

"So you about to done here?" Olivia asks.

"Yeah," Elliot claims.

"Come get a drink with me?" Olivia asks.

Elliot looked at her funny. It was the first time in the weeks she'd been back, she had asked. They usually didn't go to the bar alone together, didn't want to feed the fire with Kathy. Still, every once in a while, when the mood struck, especially after a hard case, Elliot and Olivia would sit at the bar together and talk about nothing. They didn't really have an excuse this time, but there wasn't a need to have one anymore. Elliot agreed, and they found their way to a frequented bar. They went for a table and decided that they both needed some dinner. The whole night Elliot wondered if he should tell her his feelings, but there was no reason to explain it, and then lose her. He couldn't bear losing her again. So his feelings went untold, despite the race in his chest when her hands touched his reaching for her drink. His face reddened, but Olivia didn't say anything. The two sat in a comfortable silence until their food came out, and instead of eating, they talked about Elliot's kids, and some vague things about the time while she was away. She had heard about Danni Beck, nothing wonderful, and her run-ins with her would be far from what she called pleasant. Elliot said they got along well enough. She'd rather not think about that time away.

When their food is done, Elliot insisted on getting the check.

"I invited you, El, you pay next time," Olivia claimed.

"You walking?" Olivia asked

"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Elliot claimed.

Liv nodded, and they went their separate ways for the night.

Elliot got home, not wanting to play this game with his heart. He was frustrated with himself, his body, his mind. The thought of Olivia now conjured up images he felt guilty for having. He tried to read, to get his mind off of her, but she was the only thing in his mind.

"You're a sinking ship," Elliot told himself, before finally falling asleep.

The next morning he didn't feel any better, wishing that dinner with Olivia was a regular thing. Wishing he was spending his time with her instead of alone. He got ready for the morning and went into the office. Olivia, as usual, beat him there, a smile to greet him. He smiled too and hoped he could get through another day without telling her his secret.

It had been 3 months since he admitted the feelings he had of Olivia to himself. They had gotten back into the grove of partners and friends. He didn't want to screw it up. He knows he has the worse at timing. His heart ached when Olivia admitted she had a date a few weeks prior, but she didn't say anything more about the guy, and Elliot prayed that she didn't like him.

It was a Friday night, and it was their weekend off.

"Any plans this weekend?" Elliot asked.

"Catch up on the laundry." Olivia smiled.

Elliot smiled.

"Me too." Elliot agreed his dry cleaning was stacked up, and he probably had 3 loads worth of other clothes.

Olivia laughed.

"We need to get a life," Olivia admitted.

"Yeah, well." Elliott teased.

"How about you and I go do something this weekend unless you have the kids," Olivia claimed.

"Mmm, I do have the kids Saturday, but they've been going to church with Kathy on Sundays, and I just haven't felt like going," Elliott admitted.

Olivia looked up at him.

"You haven't been going?" Olivia asked.

Elliot nodded his head no.

"Go, El," Olivia claimed.

"I can't, it's too weird, awkward. Even though the divorce was mutual, well, you know, I've been played out to be the villain. I tried, and it wasn't Kathy, damn Kathy had defended me at my own church." Elliot claimed.

Olivia sighed.

"Alright, so pick a new place, and I'll go with you," Olivia claimed.

"You'll go with me to church?" Elliott asked.

"What you think I'll catch fire?" Olivia joked.

"No! I, thanks, Liv. I used to go to one here in Manhattan, but when Kathy and I bought the house in Queens, we went out there. Maybe going back home won't be such a bad thing." Elliot admitted.

"K, just text me the place, and depending on the location we'll meet at whose ever apartment is closest," Olivia claimed.

Elliot thought the whole plan as odd, but he accepted.

Sunday morning came, and Olivia met Elliot Sunday morning, in a dark green dress, and nude flats. She had pearl earrings in her ears, and the same necklace she always wore.

"Thanks for coming with me," Elliot stated.

"Partners." Olivia smiled.

They get to the steps of the church, it was crowded, but someone immediately recognizes Elliot. Elliot's smiling, and when asking about Kathy, the smile fades. He admits the divorce and looks down, but the elderly woman smiles brightly at him.

"We all make mistakes, you just got to dust yourself off and stand up again. Speaking of is this your new wife?" The lady asked.

Olivia smiles at the woman but doesn't say anything.

"She's my partner, my work partner. I'm a cop." Elliott explains.

"Still a detective, well, it doesn't take one to see you love her." The lady claims.

Elliot and Olivia blush.

"I do, very much," Elliot admitted.

Olivia smiled leaned into him.

The bells start to ring, and they shuffle inside, the older lady that finally introduced herself as Mrs. Leigh helped with the youth group when Elliot was in high school.

Olivia surprised Elliot, knowing the rituals. She did not receive communion, she didn't pray out loud. She was out of her element here. She had grown up in out of different churches. Usually, after her mom was found to be a drunk, they'd go somewhere new.. There were long gaps in her attendance. She hadn't regularly gone to church since she was 17, but sitting in pews and listening to someone go on about the bible had somehow comforted her. Maybe it was the droning voice, or perhaps it was the candlelight. Maybe it was the way Mrs. Leigh would lean over and give her 2 cents to Elliot every now and again.

When service finally concluded, Mrs. Leigh pulled Elliot around, showing all the people who would have remembered him as a boy that he had come back. Olivia smiled every time one of the ladies hugged him. Mrs. Leigh would whisper about the divorce. There was a quick frown but seemed to be sadness. They all welcomed Elliot back lovingly.

Olivia had tried to sneak away a few times, but Elliot grabbed her hand just as Mrs. Leigh did his own and pulled her around the entryway of the church almost for an hour.

Elliot was beginning to think a work call would be nice about now, but it didn't happen.

Finally, after Elliot claimed that he had something cooking at home and he didn't want it to burn, Mrs. Leigh let Elliot and made him promise to come back next week.

They walked down the block, and Olivia started laughing.

"Look at Mr. Popular," Olivia stated.

"Yeah, Yeah." Elliot shrugged it off.

"So, what's burning at your apartment?" Olivia asked sarcastically.

Elliot just eyeballed her.

"So," Elliot claimed.

"So, after that, I think you owe me lunch," Olivia claimed.

"I do, do I?" Elliot asked.

"Yes," Olivia confirmed.

They walked down the street to one of their favorite restaurants and enjoyed a meal. Neither wanted to separate.

"Come back to my place?" Elliot asked.

Olivia smiled. "Sure."

When they make it to his apartment, Olivia looks around.

"Did you not bother to learn how to clean?" Olivia asked.

The dishes were piled up, the floor hadn't been swept, well ever if Olivia had to guess. There was laundry piled up, but what she assumed was the bedroom.

"The kids came by yesterday and caused most of this," Elliot claimed.

"Sorry, El, I forgot," Olivia claimed.

"It's a lot faster if two people clean." Elliott hinted.

"Oh, no way Stabler, I'm not touching your dirty laundry." Olivia proclaimed.

Elliot was smiling at her.

Olivia wandered over to see the pictures of his kids.

"You're so lucky, El," Olivia said, staring at the kids wishing she had one or two of her own.

Elliot was behind her, closer than she thought, and she almost turned directly into him. He stepped back but only a little.

"I know Liv, your time will come," Elliot claims.

"Will it?" Olivia asks.

Elliot sees the hurt in her eyes and pulls her close.

"Yeah, I promise," Elliot claimed.

"Please don't do that," Olivia claimed.

"Do what?" Elliot asked.

"Make promises you can't keep," Olivia stated.

"I'm not," Elliot claimed.

With that, he looked in her eyes and kissed her lips.

Olivia was shocked, utterly speechless, and not that she didn't want this, but this was Elliot Stabler's lips on her lips, and the searing burn was all most too much to handle. She pushed him away quickly.

"El," Olivia warned.

"Liv?" Elliot asked.

"I, we, you don't mean this," Olivia claimed. "You got wrapped up at church and the old ladies and us; we'll talk later, El," Olivia said her hand on the door.

"Liv, please don't run," Elliot stated.

"If this isn't what you want, that's fine, but I can't let you go again," Elliot stated.

Olivia looked up in his eyes.

"You, you've thought about this? How long?" Olivia asks. Her hands now off the doorknob looking for the answers in his eyes.

"Longer than I care to admit," Elliot answered.

Olivia's eyed her partner, knowing he was telling the truth.

"El, you sure about this?" Olivia asked.

"More than anything," Elliot admitted, as he put his lips on hers.


	28. From Eden

From Eden- Hozier

I absolutely love this song and imagine Rafael singing it to Olivia, so this is an R/O, but E/O is coming again soon. Thanks for the reviews and follows!

Rafael had known this case wasn't sitting well with anyone, especially Olivia Benson. She'd been with SVU long enough to know when things weren't looking too good, and these were one of those times. Olivia was looking down at her desk, she looked ready to cry, but Rafael didn't think the tears would come. He walked in, seeing the tragic look on her face.

"We haven't lost yet," Rafael stated as he walked through her door.

"I know it's just, it never gets any easier," Olivia admitted.

"Should it?" Rafael asked.

"No, I don't think so. I think the day I am okay with a perp walking free, I'd have to hand in the badge." Olivia admitted.

Rafael smiled at her, making her smile back.

"You getting out of here soon?" Rafael asks.

"I wish I've got four more cases today, I've barely started," Olivia admitted.

Rafael frowned.

"Was it not you who has regularly been pulling me from my office?" Rafael asked.

"I know, but." Olivia started.

"I need a friend, not a mirror, Liv, when was the last time you went out?" Rafael asked.

Olivia looked at him like he had three heads.

"Okay, point taken. Come on, let's go its pushing 8pm, and this will all be here in the morning." Rafael insisted.

He expected an eye roll, or a heavy sigh, or Olivia pushing him out the door but none of that came.

"Alright, let me get out of here, let me go home cuddle Noah for and make sure he's in bed. Then I will see you in about an hour at Castels?" Olivia asked.

"See you then." Rafael claimed.

Olivia packed up and took a taxi home usually, she walked, but she wanted to make it home quick enough she didn't miss Noah again.

She got to the door, a happy boy hugging his mother tightly. He was overly excited but quickly calmed down as she told him the most watered-down story of work. He fell asleep to her story, and she smiled at him.

"Can you stay, Barba has talked me into going out." Olivia asked the nanny.

"Of course, you go have fun." She smirked.

Olivia smiled.

She ran back to her room wanting to dress the part and put on a black dress, with some heels. She put on a darker shade of lipstick and reapplied her eyeliner, before walking down the 2 blocks to Castels with not too long to spare.

Rafael saw her as she turned to corner, no one could miss her really. She was beautiful, a vision, but he shouldn't be thinking about her like this. Damn, it went against everything, he didn't date co-workers, he didn't match up to Olivia Benson in any form and his turns to knots as she greats him.

They went into the upscale bar and got a table. They talk about little things. Rafael has no clue why he does it, but he reaches out for Olivia's hand, and she doesn't pull away, but she doesn't say anything either, and they continue to talk. They both consume way too much alcohol, and it's Olivia who admits it first.  
"Rafa, you know if, if things were different," Olivia claims.

"Yeah, I know." Rafael agrees. Another glass of wine is brought over to the table and she finishes her drink.

"Let me walk you home," Rafael stated.

"No, the nanny's there, and it would be awkward." Olivia claims.

"Then let me take you to my place?" Rafael tries again.

"Okay." Olivia agrees.

They walkthrough his door Olivia's been there a few times before but never to stay.

She slips off he shoes and puts them by the door, she now stands at equal height to Rafael.

She pulls him close and kisses him.

"Liv." Rafael begs.

"Not what you want?" Olivia mopes.

"Not like this," Rafael admits.

She nods her head.

"I'm sorry , maybe I should go," Olivia claims.

"No, no, Liv don't do that," Rafael claimed.

"Stay sleep the wine off and go back home in the morning." Rafael suggests

Olivia nods, and Rafael comes to the couch and allows her to lean into him.

"One day, can we make this work?" Olivia asks.

Rafael isn't sure if she'll remember the conversation in the morning.

"Yeah Liv. One day." Rafael claims.

"Why are we so good with each other?" Olivia asked.

"Because I know you, Olivia, you know me. There is no innocence left. The world is full of bad people, bad places, and we know we're up against impossible odds, but we still fight." Rafael explained.

"You're my best friend Rafa, I love you," Olivia admitted.

"I love you too," Rafael admits.

He bends down kissing her forehead, wanting more. He felt like a snake just thinking about it. She's too drunk for anything more.

"Night Liv." Rafael states and pulled the throw down over her.

Olivia was already fast asleep.


	29. We've got Tonight

A/N: Thanks for all the follows and reviews, the songs I've been posting I've had a running list for a while now, and there is only a few more, already completed that is on my list, I guess I need to be thinking of Olivia Benson when I listen to music more often. This is R/O, because honestly, they are my favorite couple. I love Olivia and Elliot together, and maybe there is a glimmer of hope and I wouldn't be angry if they get together on one of their shows.

We've got tonight. - Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band

Olivia told herself, after having Noah, and after she and Ed had called, it quits she wasn't doing this anymore. She told herself she wouldn't be working all night at work. She told herself that she would be home to spend time with Noah, to have a social life outside of work, to make herself more normal, but here she was telling the sitter that she would be working all night. Noah had already been asleep for hours, and what was the point of staring at the boy breathing. She used to do it all the time, but now she felt more secure with his health. She trusted Lucy, and she was on a roll, tying things together with this case.

Rafael Barba came through the door shocked to see the light on in Olivia's office and lightly knocked.

"I was just going to leave this for you, before heading home, what's got you stuck here?" Rafael asked.

"The Marty case, I found some interesting financial records, and one thing leads to another." Olivia admitted.

"Anything to push the case?" Rafael asked.

"I don't know yet." Olivia admitted.

"I know it's late but I haven't had dinner, care to join me?" Rafael asked.

Olivia looked at the screen that was blurring in front of her.

She hesitated.

"I know your plans weren't to go out tonight, but why not?" Rafael asked.

Olivia smiled up at her friend.

"Okay, Rafa, let me write this down, and you have yourself a deal," Olivia claimed.

For the city that never sleeps, Olivia was appalled by the fact their favorite restaurant closed at 10, and the diner which was still pretty good would have to suffice, she was looking forward to a nice meal with her best friend.

"When was the last time you got a decent night's sleep?" Rafael asks.

"Seriously, you're the one to talk," Olivia claimed.

Rafael laughed.

"I know you just look a little worse for wear," Rafael claimed.

"Thanks." Olivia laughed.

"Sorry that came out wrong," Rafael claims.

"Wow, Rafael Barba misspoke? I think maybe you need to get some rest." Olivia claimed.

"I won't deny that." Rafael laughed.

They ate their meal quietly, eating quickly, both not realizing how hungry they were.

When they walked out of the diner, neither one wanted to part the other just yet.

"Walk with me?" Rafael asked.

Olivia nodded.

Rafael grasped her hand.

She didn't say much they've been known to hold hands every once in a while, sticking close as the fall air breezed by them.

"Did you expect this out of life?" Rafael asked suddenly.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know . I am almost 50." Rafael started.

"Your 45 Rafael, don't push it." Olivia laughed.

"Well, you know what I mean," Rafael claimed.

"I do. I guess I suspected more." Olivia claimed.

"More of what though?" Rafael asked.

"Just more, maybe more friends, more family, more romance." Olivia smiled.

"Yeah, me too." Rafael claimed.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to get morose," Rafael claimed.

"You can tell me anything, Rafa," Olivia claimed.

They kept walking and talking about childhood dreams that had come undone. Expectations that fell short, but they also told each other about there accomplishments.

"I'm lonely, Liv." Rafael admitted.

Olivia looked at her friend's heartache.

"Me too." Olivia admitted.

Rafael had found he had walked them back to his building.

"This is me." Rafael claimed.

"I'll just get a cab," Olivia stated.

"No, stay." Rafael started suddenly.

"Rafa…" Olivia started.

He held her at an arm's length.

"We're both lonely, just tonight, we'll figure the rest out later." Rafael almost begged.

Olivia looked at the man's pleading eyes.

"You sure you know what your asking?" Olivia asked.

"I've been thinking about it for a long time," Rafael admitted.

"This could ruin you, Barba," Olivia claimed.

"I wouldn't bet on it," Rafael stated.

Olivia smiled.

"Alright, just tonight," Olivia claimed.

They walked into his apartment, and instantly both of them were on each other, Rafael barely locked the door, it was a fury of clothing coming off, and before they knew it, both were down to their last layer. Rafael was slowly touching Olivia all over, and she couldn't help but groan. He grabbed her hand and led her to the bedroom.

"You sure?" Rafael asked.

Olivia nodded.

They definitely had the passion and both trusted each other, so it wasn't an awkward first time, it was a lot of talking and touching and learning. When they were finally too tired to do anything else they laid beside each other.

"Can we find a way?" Rafael asked.

"You and I, always do Rafael." Olivia smiled.

"Let's get some sleep." Rafael yawned.  
"mmm." Olivia agreed.

Rafael turned over and put his arm around Olivia, she adjusted it, and he smiled in her shoulder.

"I am so glad you stayed." Rafael proclaimed.


	30. Missing You

A/N: This I want this to be set in the upcoming season or whenever Elliott comes back, if you haven't been keeping up, it's official Elliott is getting his own show, Law, and Order Organized Crime, that was supposed debut this fall, but with the virus, it was delayed… and now won't be out until sometime next year. They said he will be on the Law and Order SVU immediately prior to the first episode of his new show.

* * *

Missing You- John Waite

If Olivia had to admit it to herself, she was always thinking back to Elliot. There were days where Elliot didn't cross her mind at all, but other days when it was inevitable. She'd be going through cold cases and see his name. She would look at a picture of the two of them together and smile. Noah asked a long time ago who the man in the picture was and Olivia would go into great detail about her former partner.

Amanda and Carasi reminded her of her and Elliot so much so, she wondered how their story would end. Now Carasi was an ADA they had less time together, but it didn't seem like it stopped them from fighting. Olivia knew it was pent up frustration and it was easier to take it out in each other. There were fewer complications with the two of them though. Carasi never had the attitude Elliot did. Amanda had made her mistakes, but it didn't seem to matter to Sonny no matter what seemed to happen. He loved Amanda and her girls all the same. The reason why Olivia was thinking about him now, is that his name came up.

Olivia was in Garland's office discussing a case, and when Elliot's name came out of his mouth she had a sharp intake of breath.

"Well, he can't be that bad if he was your partner for over ten years?" Garland stated.

"What about him?" Olivia asked.

"Well, he's being considered for heading up the organized crime unit," Garland explained.

"Wow, well he's a good leader," Olivia claimed.

"So not one to take advice," Garland asked.

Olivia laughed.

"You could say that we've had some run-ins over our heads, throughout the years. That was a lifetime ago, I'm sorry, I really can't say who he is anymore." Olivia admitted.

"You didn't stay in touch?" Garland asked.

"Um, no we had an incident, he shot a girl, and someone we worked closely within the community died. It was a good shot, but somethings, you just can't get over." Olivia claimed.

Garland nodded, I read his file, you're in there a lot." Garland mentioned.

Olivia smiled.

"It was a long time ago Garland," Olivia claimed.  
Garland smiled.

"Will it be a problem?" Garland asked.

"What if, El becomes in charge of organized crime, maybe for the crooks but no one else." Olivia insured Garland.

"What I wanted to hear. Alright, well it was just a heads up but he's the front runner." Garland claimed.

Olivia nodded her head.

Olivia suddenly found herself walking through to the station, remembering the times she had here with Elliot Stabler. Knowing why he left, and suddenly a mix of emotions went through her and she could hear his voice. When Fin put his hand on her shoulder she jumped.

"You okay, Liv?" Fin asked.

"Yeah Fin, I'm fine, just heard interesting news is all," Olivia claimed.

Fin gave her a look.

"El is on the shortlist to head Organized Crime," Olivia claimed.

It took Fin a second.

"Stabler's back?" Fin asked.

"I guess so," Olivia claimed.

"You okay with that?" Fin asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" Olivia questions.

"Come on Liv, really, you gonna act like you didn't mope for months, that he not calling you back that, damn it gets my blood pressure up just thinking about it." Fin claims.

"It will be fine Fin it was a long time ago, I'm not missing him," Olivia claims.

"Uh-huh." Fin snorted and walked away.

Olivia walked into her apartment, glad that being in charge had its perks, yes she was still called out in the middle of the night, and sometimes she wasn't sure what her next step was but she was home for Noah, and that's all that mattered.

Noah was getting too big to snuggle up against Olivia like he used to but he was still happy she was home and hugged her tight. He talked all about his day, of making slime and building with Lego, playing on his tablet, and watching TV.

Olivia smiled at the boy and talked and watched a few shows with him before it was time for his bedtime.

Olivia went to her room and pulled out the metal she had worn for so long, and a picture of the two of them together.

"What am I going to do?" Olivia asked out loud.

She held the picture in her hand and wondered what the past 9 years had done to the man. She wondered if he knew she knew of his return. Olivia wondered if he was holding Kathy tight and insuring her it wouldn't be like SVU. She wondered if it didn't matter and Kathy and he had split. Over the years she had thought a lot about her past, and her mistakes and she really wished she would have told Elliot to leave Kathy the first time. It wasn't because she loved him, no that's why she had pushed so hard for him and Kathy to stay together. She wanted him to have everything he wanted. Looking back Kathy was borderline mentally abusing the man. She knew now as a mother how awful it felt to never be home, to feel like there was never enough time with the kids, but it wasn't a choice it was a way of life. There were days she and Noah both got upset but at the end of the day even at his young age, he understood something that Kathy never could.

Olivia was suddenly mad at herself for even being excited to see the man's face. For years she thought if she saw him again, she'd slap the man down. Now, she knew she wouldn't do anything such thing, her heart would race if she saw him again, she would be angry she knew that, but she knew how to deflect it now. It's been too long to be aggressive to still have the rage that consumed her for so long. She wanted to say if he walked through the door tomorrow of the 1-6 she would have a casual "Hey, how have you been." come out of her mouth because he didn't need to know the way her world came crashing down around her after he left. He didn't need to know how she missed him.

He didn't need to know that for a fleeting moment even when she was with Brian, or Ed that sometimes she would wonder about him and if he still had Kathy. No one needed to know that if Elliot asked her out tomorrow that she'd hesitate before telling him "no." She missed him though, and to know that in however small capacity it was they would be working together again, well it gave her a sense of hope. She knew most things were better left in the past, she wondered how many sessions with Lindstrom it would take for him to commit her if in fact she and Elliot started working together. She was tired, she felt as she had given her energy to the universe, let Elliot know somehow he was on her mind. She knew it was silly but she was exhausted and fell asleep for the night.

The next few weeks rolled by, and once again Elliot's name came up less and less in her brain, a defense mechanism she was sure, in that rare time he passed through her brain. This time she was thinking about him because there was talk in the 1-6 about him. Cops talk and she heard someone bring up his name and the fact he used to work here, nothing more nothing less.

Amanda had come and checked on Olivia.

"Everything okay?" Amanda asked.

"You've heard the rumors." Olivia smiled.

"Yeah well," Amanda muttered.

"I actually just got the official announcement in my inbox," Olivia claimed as she clicked on the form letter with his name inserted for the new position.

Amanda bit her lip.

"Well it's not like we're going to work together daily, and I mean it can't be that bad," Olivia claimed.

Amanda's eyebrows shot up.

"I remember what it was like when he left I was still new here but I had eyes and ears," Amanda claimed.

Olivia smiled.

"Yeah but come on Amanda, it was so long ago, before your girls, before Carasi, before Noah, before Barba, before Lewis." Olivia closed her eyes.

"A lifetime ago, but trust me I know how the past comes back to bite you in the ass," Amanda explained.

Olivia smiled. "Yeah, but I'm in a good place right now, and I haven't spoken to the man in 10 years, how bad could it be?" Olivia ask.

"So you don't miss him at all?" Amanda asked.

"After so long I am pretty sure my heart is ice towards that man." Olivia joked.

"Keep telling yourself that Liv." Amanda claimed, and got up and walked away."

"Just keep lying to yourself Liv," Olivia said out loud.

Carasi walked through the door.

"So I hear your old partner got a promotion," Sonny stated.

"What is this middle school?" Olivia snapped.

"Sorry didn't know you'd be so upset about it," Sonny claimed.

Olivia sighed. "I'm not Carasi, what is that you need?" Olivia asked.

Right as she asked her phone rang.

She looked at the call, it was unfamiliar.

Carasi nodded at her to pick it up.

Olivia grabbed her phone.

"El?" Olivia asked.

Carasi stood up, but Olivia signaled to sit back down.

"Congratulations," Olivia stated but she wasn't smiling and her heart was racing and she was frowning, and once again Sonny started to get up. But Olivia snapped her fingers and pointed her fingers down.

"No, not at all, I'd like that. I'll see you soon." Olivia claimed.

Her stomach churned.

"Okay Carasi, what can I help you with?" Olivia asked.

Carasi looked at the woman in front of him that was ready to break down but knew better than to say a word. He pulled out the case and began talking about it. Olivia nodded and pulled up her notes and the two talked.

When everything was said and done Carasi stood up.

"I can give you out if you'd like," Carasi stated.

Olivia looked at him for a minute, then it clicked.

"I appreciate that you're a good friend Sonny, but I'll be fine." Olivia insisted.

Sonny nodded and walked out of her office.

Olivia looked at the clock she had offered to meet him for lunch because she was in shock by the sound of his voice. Half of her wanted to stand him up and the other half of her wanted to put on her sexiest dress and dark lipstick and show him what he had missed, but she wouldn't do either. Lunch hour came and she walked out of the office. Fin, I'm going to meet an old friend for lunch, if you need anything call." Olivia smiled.

"Don't let him tell you wrong, Liv, tell him how you feel." Fin claimed.

"Remember Liv, I can retire a little early, so if you need something." Fin smiled.

"Thanks, Fin. I'll be back soon." Olivia claimed.

Olivia took a deep breath and held it as she walked into the pub that she and Elliott Munch and Fin frequented so long ago.

She saw his face and he instantly smiled, and his smile was so bright that it lit up the room and she couldn't help but offer hers in return.

Olivia and Elliott act as they've never missed a beat as if 9 years hadn't changed a thing. It felt different, and weird but oddly satisfying. Olivia had to admit to herself, she greatly missed the man.


End file.
